Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 25, 2017
Transcript:
Man: Whew, am I tired...been training for a triathlon. It's my sixth triathlon. I really enjoy triathlons. Rat: Listen, Tommy the triathlete...no one cares about your triathlons, because we all recognize that what you're really saying is that you're better than us. So just say it. Man: I'm better than you. Rat: Feel better? Man: Your whole undisciplined existence is without value!
BE THIS GUY over 7 years ago
Can’t President Rat have this guy interned?
Comics over 7 years ago
Tommy is better than the president?
railwayman001 over 7 years ago
I have a bad feeling that, yeah, he WILL have this moron interned and waterboarded in Guantanamo Bay.
Robin Harwood over 7 years ago
So he swims a bit, rides a bit, runs a bit. Who cares?
Adiraiju over 7 years ago
Where I’m from, they shot people like this.
Sherlock Watson over 7 years ago
I want to see Triathlete Tommy get into a fight to the death with Jef the Cyclist; no matter who wins, we win.
æ² over 7 years ago
Living a disciplined existence only to be an annoying braggadocious jerk doesn’t have much value, either.
Wilde Bill over 7 years ago
He will be the healthiest looking corpse in the graveyard. For awhile anyway.
cdgar over 7 years ago
I sincerely hope that Tommy and Jef have a full-bore head-on collision, and that there are no survivors.
John Smith over 7 years ago
While you’re out spending all your time exhausting yourself training guess who’s with your wife?
Plumbob Wilson over 7 years ago
If bowling, darts, and pinochle counted as a triathlon then I’d sign right up. Funny, the one thing they all have in common is beer…
juicebruce over 7 years ago
Only thing wrong with Beer is that the end result gets flushed away :-(
n8cwhite over 7 years ago
No President Rat?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 7 years ago
Enjoy your own knees while you still have them, Tommy-Boy.
whiteheron over 7 years ago
Hey Tommy, die young and leave a pretty corpse.
alexffaa over 7 years ago
Another gem. Way to go Mr Pastis.
YippiKiAyMofo over 7 years ago
Ah, go date a cyclist!
IQTech61 over 7 years ago
Pastis clearly does not know a tri-athlete. The tria-athletes I know don’t do it to feel better than everyone else. They do it because it makes them feel better. There are some tri-athletes in my walking/running group online. Do you know what they tell the slower members of the group? “You are still miles ahead of the people sitting on the couch. Keep going.”
mortaur over 7 years ago
That sounds like my wife…yet SHE is the idiot that married ME!
Mentor397 over 7 years ago
I did a couple Triathalons back in my day – Tie Fighter, Heroes of Might and Magic II, and Super Mario Bros. Those days were the best!
HouseApe over 7 years ago
The people who do triathalons don’t do it to feel superior to others. They do it because they like it. The people who interpret other people’s active hobbies as flaunting their superiority are insecure souls who feel guilty about not being active themselves. People talk about the things that interest them. If your triathlete friend has to listen to you talk about the latest video game or your quest for the perfect beer or your favorite sports team, you can listen to them talk about their interests as well.
BiathlonNut over 7 years ago
I like to run. Makes the beer go down nicer.
JoeMartinFan Premium Member over 7 years ago
I can picture Tommy the Triathlete as the newest member of the Village People.
KEA over 7 years ago
just the kind of guy to die at 42 from congenital defect.
Andrew Sleeth over 7 years ago
Anyone have any guesses what comic colleague Pastis might be dissing here?
Number Three over 7 years ago
Where’s Jef the cyclist? If I remember right he was a bit of a jerk too.
xxx
sandflea over 7 years ago
Tommy triathlete swims, pedals and runs. His brother donny, the tweeter-in-chief, just runs his mouth and has conspiracy theories.
puddleglum1066 over 7 years ago
I prefer the Aluminum Man Triathalon, where the three events are Open, Chug, and Crush.
withaG over 7 years ago
I personally only know one triathelete and she is one of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet. She mainly did her extensive training and racing to get away from her asshat husband who she finally kicked to the curb and she is now much happier!
knight1192a over 7 years ago
No, Rat, he’s saying he must have a death wish.
Sisyphos over 7 years ago
Please, Rat! Introduce Tommy the Triathlete to Jef the Cyclist and let the two try to out-boast each other until their heads explode! (Props to Sherlock, who suggested something like this much earlier in these Comments….)
SonicFan91 about 5 years ago
I hate him and the biker
we live we love we lie about 2 years ago
fight jeff tommy.