Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for January 31, 2024

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    BE THIS GUY  5 months ago

    Mom doesn’t want any translation because she’s certain something will be lost in it.

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    codycab  5 months ago

    There’s another way, Calvin, and it’s called “listening”!

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    JïllDérs(TOMGF)  5 months ago

    Calvin never gets it.

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    Spacehog  5 months ago

    I never saw this strip before

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    The Calvinosaurus That Calvin Wanted To Discover  5 months ago

    Go to bed now means she has 0 minutes until she blows her stack.

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    rshive  5 months ago

    Kibitzing Mom won’t work, Calvin.

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    Concretionist  5 months ago

    One of the first things we taught our toddler was that sticks have TWO ends and if you’re handling a stick you are responsible for BOTH ends. As a result we never "had to use Calvin’s “parentism” since we could simply say “Watch both ends!”

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    snsurone76  5 months ago

    Don’t be so ungrateful, Mom. Just consider them flash cards for parenting!!

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    orinoco womble  5 months ago

    Ah yes…the questions that are not questions. “Do you want to clean your room” means “or do you want to be grounded for a week.” It is not a question. “Do you think I’m stupid” means “stop acting stupid.”

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    Jayalexander  5 months ago

    Listen young man DID I STUTTER?

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    minty_Joe  5 months ago

    Reminds me of those Isuzu commercials from the 1980s…

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    Jeff0811  5 months ago

    I don’t see how jumping in the lake became synonymous with doing something dumb. A better question would be, “If Bob stuck a set of keys in an electrical outlet, would you do the same?” You might even get some entertainment out of it, as long as there are plenty of candles around the house.

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    The Reader Premium Member 5 months ago

    I want to see the one for ‘If only he had used his powers for good.’

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    Temnospondyl - I have my father's eyes...  5 months ago

    30 years ago I worked with a guy who had a glass eye. My office was next to the lunch room, and one day there was some good-natured roughhousing going on in there and I yelled out (jokingly, I wasn’t upset) “if you keep that up someone’s going to lose an eye.” It went quiet for 30 seconds or so, and then he appeared in my doorway and quickly said, “too late, catch” and threw me his eye. The delay was while he popped it out and rinsed it before throwing it.

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    KageKat  5 months ago

    Amazing how much effort he can put into that but not into actually listening.

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    jagedlo  5 months ago

    Now if he would just put that much effort in some of the other areas of his life!

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    markkahler52  5 months ago

    It’s all fun and games, Calvin, until!….

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    mckeonfuneralhomebx  5 months ago

    He wants her to take the card and leave it by her feet so she is stooping down to his level.

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    Just-me  5 months ago

    I might have thought those things, but I didn’t dare say them to either of my parents.

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    steveh64  5 months ago

    A Future Calvin would use one of those Universal Translators (like in Star Trek) so that no cards are needed.

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    gantech  5 months ago

    “Poke someone’s eye out”… is this Calvin or Ralphie?

    Yes, I know with Ralphie it was “shoot”, not “poke”.

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    M2MM  5 months ago

    That kid is way ahead of his time. :D

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    KennethPrice2  5 months ago

    Sometimes the only possible response is smackbottom. WOKE folks can go to H E Doubletoothpicks.

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    More Coffee Please! Premium Member 5 months ago

    Wish I’d had those when I was a kid. Calvin is brilliant!

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    sandpiper  5 months ago

    My Mom would have made a corresponding set of cards detailing my chores and penalties for misbehavior. Never try to outwit a mom. They come loaded.

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    rmercer Premium Member 5 months ago

    “You’re going to break your neck!” whenever I did something where at least one foot left the ground. Yet strangely, I never did.

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    dflak  5 months ago

    My sister must be an unhappy person. One day, when she was about 8 or 9 years old, she was swinging a stick around. My mother admonished her and told her to stop with the warning, “You won’t be happy until you poke someone’s eye out with that.”

    In the event, my sister failed to do any injury to anyone with that stick. The stick is now gone: lost to history. My sister will never have the opportunity to poke someone’s eye out with it, and therefore, she’ll never be happy.

    If you accept the premise, you have to accept the conclusion. The logic is sound.

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    Link from Twilight Princess  5 months ago

    I need to get these for my mom lol.

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    mindjob  5 months ago

    “You’re failing at school”


    “We’re putting you up for adoption”

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    ladykat  5 months ago

    Moms need no translation.

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    jim_pem  5 months ago

    Kudos for the forward thinking, Calvin! You need to learn a little bit of parent psychology, because it’ll never fly, but I like where you’re going with this.

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    g04922  5 months ago

    Ahh… Calvin was involved in the ‘change the language and you change the world’ movement – even back then. I believe Marx promoted that tactic, as well.

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    Angry Indeed Premium Member 5 months ago

    I like it when Calvin cuts out a square hole in a large cardboard box and pretends he’s on TV. Definitely, part of the Boob Tube generation.

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    KEA  5 months ago

    I’m impressed that Calvin can read and write

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    Bilan  5 months ago

    Mom will create a card reading Do it now or you won’t be sitting for a week.

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    EMGULS79  5 months ago

    Looks to me like Calvin’s already figured out what Mom’s threats really amount to.

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    EMGULS79  5 months ago

    My mom always started out her statements with “Do you want to…” but her actual meaning was “You have to…” Whatever followed wasn’t going to be an option.

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    wiley207  5 months ago

    Oh, I’ve felt that way, like when my parents confuse me with their hip young lingo, like saying “do da rubbish” instead of “take out the trash”, I think maybe.

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    coffeeturtle  5 months ago

    This is great!!


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    mistercatworks  5 months ago

    Calvin is learning the difference between “subtitles” and “subtext”.

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