Pickles by Brian Crane for July 07, 2019

This didn’t (rear) end well did it?

I would’ve got with Opal demanding the newspaper so she can see the article herself. After finding out she had been had, she then flips over Earl in his chair.

Whereas people who don’t blurt out every thought tended to live the longest.

He’s willing to be bald, so why is she so vain about her appearance?

And men married to women with large rear ends tend to die soonest.

Men with big mouths, not so much.

Who else thinks the cat finds joy when Earl suffers?

Did she knock him over by throwing the cat at him?

Gina: Do you think these pants make my butt look big?

Vanessa: Yeah!

Gina: Perfect!

-“The Beauty Shop”

Their husbands not so much!

And men married to women with large rear ends have a shorter life expectancy.

They also tend to outlive their husbands.

Talking about a woman’s butt is like talking about a man’s gut……..

There are just some times when you just need to keep “good news” to yourself!

Earl will never learn …..he’s lucky Opal didn’t throw the plant at him…

A small intelligence can often lead to a small life span.

The IN thing in ‘ends’ is that big rears. Some people carry IN too far.

What did he do wrong? Just read the news to her!

As you age, it’s important to have a broad base of support to draw from.

What Earl said in panel 2 is why he is like he is in the last panel

Earl is a slooowww learner!;o)

The study further revealed that husbands who mention it have a much shorter life span!

So Kim Kardashian will live forever?

“How does that apply to me?”

I knew the final window of the comic was coming without looking at it.

Instructions:

1. Open mouth

2. Insert foot

He should have kept that good news to himself.

“Does this study make my butt look big?”

Nicki Minaj will have a long life,too.Hope she cancels the Saudi concert,though ;(

And men who can’t keep their mouths shut only live a short time.

“. . . yeah, I guess I deserved that one.” Is NOT what Earl is thinking!XD

Earl, it’s not that big-bottomed women live longer, it’s that their husbands tend to live shorter.

Would you like to pet my cat?

Actually there is a real scientific explanation for that phenomenon. Women with a “pear” shaped body carry their weight mostly in the derriere and thighs. Women who are “apple” shaped (like me) carry most of their weight in the abdomen. The distribution of fat in the abdomen causes more of it to surround the internal organs and is therefore more dangerous for us than our pear shaped sisters.

What an ass……….

Earl doesn’t mention against whom such women live longer… but I’m betting they live longer than those who point such information regarding big-butted women!!

Another study showed that people who read the results of the first study out load, had a much shorter life span.

It’s probably due to the shortened life span of all those who mention it!

Where’s the bad news part of the joke?

usually show the pickles to the wife – think I’ll skip today :)

And big -bottomed men [the pot & the kettle anyone?] – with no mouth control – have a very unsettled marriage.

It sounds like a good thing except for diet gurus.

And some of their husbands live shorter.

And men with big mouths tend to live shorter lives.

In fact, I once saw an article that said there were two kinds of fat people: those who carry the fat mostly in their rears and those who carry it above the waist. The former live longer than the latter, who have more heart attacks sooner. Really oh, truly.

I thought it was the men who liked that and the women don’t? That and what is defined by “big”?

And guys who point that out don’t stand as much of a chance at living very long.