Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 26, 2022

Get the impression he didn’t make it past the first leg, the swim which if you don’t just drown from being a poor swimmer, you may do so anyways by getting kicked in the head by the person ahead of you

Today I’m going to put the gone in gonzo!

He had a boat named “Bucket List”. Didn’t wear a swim vest. Couldn’t swim. And had just dumped a chum bucket to attract sharks. Just wasn’t his day.

He would not give up. Tried to put the “TRY” in Triathlon. Instead found the “DIE” in “Diehard”.

Oh, hang on, now I see what the problem is …

My cigar box/urn/tombstone (haven’t decided yet) will say “That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”

I am a world class Don’t try athlete. My best event is online commenting.

Aaaand another “hold my beer” moment.

Maybe nobody explained to him that not all triathlons are Ironman, or even Olympic (1500m swim, 40k bike, 10k run), distances? (A “sprint” triathlon is half of those distances.)

As I suspected. Exercise is bad for you. It wears out your heart. I tried to convince them of that in Boot camp. They didn’t listen.

Eat right and exercise. You die anyway with a healthy well toned body. Nobody gets out of here alive. ;-)

I once held a don’ttriathlon. Nobody showed up.

Extreme sports are a Darwinian evolution to weed out the overly optimistic.

Bucket’s got a hole in it. Apologies to Buddy Bolden.

I’m constantly training for the no-athalon…

Sit-in’s are highly competitive.

I’ve heard that 60 minutes of exercise a day when you’re 35 can extend your overall lifespan by as much as a full hour. Which means you’re trading in an hour when you’re young, healthy, vigorous, and ambitious for one when you’re old, feeble, achy, forgetful, and useless.

Here lies Pedro at last

He drew his gun once too often

Now he lies here in his coffin

Cuz he drew,but he didn’t draw fast.

THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN—“The Bully Of Dry Gulch”

My son used to say of his friends, “We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.”

Jerry Seinfeld: “I made a bucket list, then I turned the b to an f, and I was done with it.”

He put the “try” in triathlon and ended up needing a triple bypass.

What’s the point of bucket lists really? To ensure you die with regrets?

Looks like he kicked the bucket (list)…

They can be very “trying”

Most heart-rending epitaph ever: “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!”

Yes, that’s what Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. chose for his own tombstone, but it was taken from an old gospel hymn that almost always accompanied life-long slaves to their final rest.

Does Hyacinth have a Bucket list?