Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 21, 2023

Just for fun, I googled ‘hot stocks from 2021’, to see which stocks were being recommended (And how they are doing now). Every single one under performed the S&P 500.

Nowadays, I just invest in index funds.

If it was Nancy it might be a bargain.

Maybe buy some mug shots and hope they become collector’s items.

Of course, buying the whole set could get expensive.

My advice is use Sports Books instead.

Cheaper than flying to Las Vegas

And he will probably say “buy low and sell high” or something like that.

Can’t come to us? We’ll come to you.

No-Load Mutual Frauds

There’s a story – possibly/probably apocryphal – that Daddy Joe Kennedy decided to get out of the market ahead of Black Friday because his shoeshine boy asked him for market tips…

Here’s a hot tip, and it’s free: Don’t buy crypto.

Psst — Coming food craze: Hot & Spicy Chicken Lips!

A dollar apiece or a dozen for $15, a bargain

So, a “fool truck”?

https://Youtu.be/BAIlVCStp3c

In invest in real estate and utilities – I pay my rent, gas and electric bills.

Look like Jim Kramer

The best way to end up with a small fortune on Wall Street? Start with a large one.

One investment firm paid significant cash to have a dedicated fiber-optic transmission line installed between its HQ in New York City and the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, so their computers could get about a half-second jump on the competition that was still relying on commercial DSL lines. Apparently they figured the speed advantage gained by getting the latest info just that tiny bit faster than the other firms would more than cover the cost of the 800-mile fiber-optic line.

This is what human day traders, operating at the speed of human brains and fingers over (in many cases) dial-up copper phone lines, have to compete against. What do you suppose their chances are?

Yesterday, I had a few extra bucks. Went down to the market and invested it in some groceries. Feel pretty good about myself.

… obviously last year’s ‘hot tip’ was those darned self storage units… someone should be ashamed of themselves for that.

Ghost Pepper LLC and Fast Eddie’s Used Kia and Hyundai Motors Limited are two real hot stocks.

As it always was, the only one making real money from hot stock tips are the people selling them to the suckers who are losing money on them. I still think selling tickets for the elevator was a great money-making opportunity. Pay elevators would be a great way to make more money or make stronger citizens.

I like how the trash can is conveniently located next to said “hot stock market tips.”

I know I’m missing something here, but… if someone has a real true inside lead on a stock why would they give it out? To pump up the value? Why wouldn’t they just buy the heck out of it themselves? I can’t think of a legitimate value to getting some secret inside info rather than just using it yourself. To help their fellow man?

Make dough betting AGAINST a company to succeed.

Even if it doesn’t work,it helps you let off some steam

Time to draw the line when they outfit those vans with speakers and they start idling through neighborhoods like ice cream trucks, instead blaring Casio-versions of “Money” along with ka-ching sound effects.

It’s not “investing” it’s “gambling” but it sounds better

So that’s the van that’s been parked on my corner all week.

Love it! This one seems to make a lot of CENTS.

Seems legit…

First tip: Buy low.

Second tip: Sell high.

I love stocks that split. Tesla, Harley-Davidson. It makes me think I’m richer.

You can get similar advice at the track.

One time I had $101.

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But if they’re so friggin’ hot, why is he he touting them out of the side of a van? There’s a saying I’m sure most people would remember – “If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich??”

Ordinary food truck works just as well.