Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 19, 2023

All keyed up

It’s heaven, where the people who follow the rules end up. Even if you could just walk around the door, you would still have a back up as the people searched for a key, so that they could do it the ‘right’ way.

Eternity is sooooo boring.

C’mon, why not the classic Roman Holiday ancient Mouth of Truth instead? Tank McNamara just referred to it in a June 7th strip last month too (https://www.gocomics.com/tankmcnamara/2023/06/07?ct=v&cti=577563)

Nope. Not where I want to go.

Just talk to the lock, communication is the key….

Why does the angel doing the hazing have a halo? Anyone doing that kind of thing doesn’t merit one. And in fact should be at another afterlife place.

I made a joke the other day, to my Dutch wife. She’s agnostic ex-Catholic. She said, “There are gates? And why pearls?”

Password?

Always carry a church key!

That guy in the light blue is just itchin’ to get in.

I’m tired of that gag already. It’s HEAVEN for godsake! … though maybe you don’t get the bennies until you’re past the gate.

My keys are on a little fob that beeps when I push a button under my desk—not that that would help in the afterlife.

Old joke. Three authors are on a book tour. They are staying at a fancy hotel on the 60th floor. There’s a blackout and the three have to take the stairs.

First writer is a comic, and he tells jokes for the first 20 floors, second writer is a romance novelist and she tells a love story for twenty floors. The last writer is is a horror writer.

“Once upon a time there were three writers, when they got to the 41st floor they realized they’d forgotten the key…”

I don’t think this would stop the lock-picking lawyer. He’ll open it four times in thirty-seconds to prove it’s not a fluke, and then accuse God of using Master Lock™ to provide security.

It reminds me of a short story I read in junior high. A person had to figure out how to escape a room, but failed. It turned out that the door was never locked.

Jesus is the key.

107 people (worldwide) die every minute.

It’s still better than the ‘other door’ with the burning bag they want you to stomp out.

Key? No one told me about a key….

WHAT? All these comments and nobody asked WHY IS THERE A SIGN EXPLAINING WHAT THE KEYHOLE IS FOR?

Well, that’s not a good sign. Apparently, A holes are allowed to have wings.

“ Ready Player One”

“Candygram.”

The key is under the mat

Or 2 photo I.D.s.

The key is stored in the cloud.

Bury me with a Halligan bar just in case.

Good to see that Henny Youngman still has a job.

Just happening to be listening to Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” when I scrolled to this. For an old guy like me, that’s a bit scary.

IF there is no humor in heaven then it is just another form of hell.

Now, where did I put my keys?

I bet it’s somewhere between a C flat and a B#

No one will have a key so no one will be able to get in.

The Bible says that only 144,000 people will get into heaven. Lambeau Field, with a capacity of 81,441, is far more exclusive.

No Pockets in those shrouds.

It looks as if Wiley M. is saluting G. Booth (crazed flea-ridden bulldogs and furiously fiddling grannies).

Party on

As if you don’t get enough when you’re alive.

Key? Let’s move into the 21st century folks. Enter your PIN…

“The key to the treasure is the treasure.“ John Barth

If you have to advertise your faith in this type of forum you must not be all that certain of it yourself.

a little twist at the end…