The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for March 29, 2023

See you later later.

she surprised everyone

She wouldn’t be caught dead missing this award.

My job doesn’t give awards for being on time so why bother.

When I was young, I puzzled over the meaning of words and phrases grownups used such as, “She’s a widow. Her late husband died in their living room.”

How could someone be a “window”? Why was her husband killed for being “late”? How could he die in their “living” room?

And: How could our one nation be “invisible”? Why was Mary “full of grapes”? Did baby Jesus wear “Fruit of the Loom?”

Better the late than never Shannon Horowitz.

Now for Molly Pitcher voted most likely to suck seed.

Using “late” in the sense of recently deceased, how long must someone be dead before they are no longer “late”? For example, we would speak of the late Racquel Welch, but not of the late Lillie Langtry.

And back to Shannon, she’ll probably be late for her own funeral.

Probably due to the daylight savings switch. Wait till the fall switch.

Better late than never!

I honestly didn’t see THAT punch line coming. Good job, Scott.

“Not tardy” party.

Next on today’s sarcasm awards…

And why was Shirley, good Mrs. Murphy, following me?

All the men in her neighborhood are greatly relieved.

Reminds me of when my classmates celebrated the first time I didn’t come last in a gym race.

Yeah, I once worked for a guy like that, to whom being on time was more important than getting the job done.

I used to wonder who those Free Kings of Ory and Tar were.