When I was in college, there was a professor that taught a course called (I think) “Technical English”. She was an short, older woman that wore a cardigan and looked like your favorite grandmother. In the first class, her lecture was how the one word in the English language that everyone always used correctly was f*ck.
“A guy goes to Boston on a business trip. Since he has never been there before he wants to try the local cuisine and, after some research decides the quintessential dish (after baked beans) is a seafood dish made from a young cod fish.
As he gets into the taxi at the airport he asks the driver ‘where can I get scrod?’
The driver turns to look at him and replies ‘You know, I have been asked that question many times and in many ways. But never before in the Past Pluperfect Subjunctive.’ "
By next year he will have been fired because he will not have been able to earn any grants for studying such a ridiculous thing. That will have made his future imperfect.
I once met a grammar professor in an airport. She seemed extremely nervous about flying so I spoke with her in an effort to put her mind at ease. She appreciated my kindness and we seemed to be hitting it off pretty well. I asked “Where are you flying to?” and with a haughty sniff she said “I will not respond to any question that ends with a preposition.” Realizing my mistake, I said “Oh, of course, I’m sorry. Here, let me try again. Where are you flying to, you stuck up b!tch?”
BE THIS GUY about 1 year ago
Sounds like the kind of guy Goat would have for a friend.
BasilBruce about 1 year ago
Also, he seems a little too young and male to be a grammar.
ronaldspence about 1 year ago
I wonder if he trains the grammar police.
C about 1 year ago
Now you’re past simple
pearlsbs about 1 year ago
Pig seems tense.
carlsonbob about 1 year ago
It’s a good thing that Pig didn’t end his sentence in a preposition!
Cornelius Noodleman about 1 year ago
I’ll give my grammar response, Dangling Participle!
Exasperated999 about 1 year ago
Present imperfect?
Purple People Eater about 1 year ago
Since today is tomorrow’s yesterday, and no day is completely perfect, does that make now present imperfect future past tense?
uniquename about 1 year ago
Some guys are a little too terse.
uniquename about 1 year ago
When I was in college, there was a professor that taught a course called (I think) “Technical English”. She was an short, older woman that wore a cardigan and looked like your favorite grandmother. In the first class, her lecture was how the one word in the English language that everyone always used correctly was f*ck.
SALUDADOG about 1 year ago
He thinks he’s so pluperfect.
ajr58(1) about 1 year ago
He looks kinda like the Comics Censor
JudyAz about 1 year ago
Reminds me of a very old one:
“A guy goes to Boston on a business trip. Since he has never been there before he wants to try the local cuisine and, after some research decides the quintessential dish (after baked beans) is a seafood dish made from a young cod fish.
As he gets into the taxi at the airport he asks the driver ‘where can I get scrod?’
The driver turns to look at him and replies ‘You know, I have been asked that question many times and in many ways. But never before in the Past Pluperfect Subjunctive.’ "
Masterskrain Premium Member about 1 year ago
“After time travel was discovered, The term ‘Future Perfect’ was dropped since it was shown not to be!” Douglas Adams.
Zebrastripes about 1 year ago
For a second, I thought Pig was going to engage in a real grownup conversation…LOL
cornshell about 1 year ago
By next year he will have been fired because he will not have been able to earn any grants for studying such a ridiculous thing. That will have made his future imperfect.
ladykat about 1 year ago
Imperfect.
Goat from PBS about 1 year ago
Sounds great. Period, though I question it. Hope he hasn’t been in a comma.
I can’t think of any more exclamations.
SheMc about 1 year ago
You are perfect right now Pig X
Radish the wordsmith about 1 year ago
Change the subject.
Ellis97 about 1 year ago
Perfectionism at its finest.
davidlwashburn about 1 year ago
Complete Sentence. Good thing. Go do.
gregcomn about 1 year ago
I prefer the plusquamperfect tense, or pluperfect if I (had been) in a hurry. . . .
pearlyqim about 1 year ago
A lost art!
timinwsac Premium Member about 1 year ago
This one went way over my head….guess I shoulda payed more attention in english class.
edstiles about 1 year ago
How does Goat survive in the little world of friends that surrounds him??
Otis Rufus Driftwood about 1 year ago
I’ll bet he’s tenured.
christelisbetty about 1 year ago
Professor is pretentious.
Aladar30 Premium Member about 1 year ago
Really a good one.
zeexenon about 1 year ago
Most of the past wasn’t. And I don’t have a lot of hopes for the near future.
oakie817 about 1 year ago
present pluperfect
T... about 1 year ago
Pig is a little pugnacious today…
dpatrickryan Premium Member about 1 year ago
I’m more present tense.
willie_mctell about 1 year ago
I tend more toward the imperfect, myself.
John Jorgensen about 1 year ago
I once met a grammar professor in an airport. She seemed extremely nervous about flying so I spoke with her in an effort to put her mind at ease. She appreciated my kindness and we seemed to be hitting it off pretty well. I asked “Where are you flying to?” and with a haughty sniff she said “I will not respond to any question that ends with a preposition.” Realizing my mistake, I said “Oh, of course, I’m sorry. Here, let me try again. Where are you flying to, you stuck up b!tch?”
Sisyphos about 1 year ago
Some pigs are just too ignorant, too….