Dick Tracy by Mike Curtis and Charles Ettinger for November 16, 2022

Good morning™, everyone!

All I can say is that this doesn’t look good for Mr. Arceneaux! It remains to be seen what happens when they turn the machine on.

Every time when I’ve had an MRI, they’ve asked repeatedly whether I had any metal in my body. It’s malpractice not to determine that before the procedure.

Well, there’s been a lot of speculation this was the path that was going to be taken. Looks like those who thought so were right.

Good morning™, tubular testers !

This will be like the jolt that went through the Frankenstein creature. Got my ear protection on as this could get very loud. He’ll have a memorable face for real after this.

OMG! He has iron fragments in his skull! The MRI is one giant electromagnet chamber. When they turn on the current ….. ugh!!

if Steely thought he was messed up with his head NOW, he’s REALLY gone be in a world of hurt when the machine is turned on… he should have informed the nurse as to his condition with the magnetized bits within his face…

If, as it appears, metal fragments still embedded in Steelface’s head from his days are a wielder are going to lead him to a gruesome end in the MRI, then this seems to be a curious writing decision on Mike’s part, to say the least. It’s really hard to believe that by this stage of his life Steelface hasn’t learned the effect that those fragments would have on machines like metal detectors & MRIs, or that, as others have pointed out, the technicians would not have triple-checked to make sure it was safe to send him into the machine. &, as Tracy villains go, Steelface was not that horrible, in terms of his crimes or personality, that he deserves this kind of Gouldian punishment. Nazi spies may deserve to get impaled on flagpoles, but having a chop shop owner getting fried in a MRI? Really?

“who could move”? He’s lucky, he’s in an open end MRI……not one of those where you are as confined as a compact disc…..

Somebody called this the other day.

Also, metal may distort a reading, but if the magnets don’t disturb metal teeth fillings – which are allowed – hard to see this gruesome ending predicted by many.

I’ll give Mike a break and assume a legally necessary question like; “Do you have any metal in your body?” Was asked and answered off screen. Steelwool is stupid enough to say no.

Mike’s not completely off the hook because his tendency to waste so many days on story fluff such as the recent week of; Sam the doofus fan in the theater forces him to skip over important scenes due to time restrictions.

Everyone loses.

I don’t think the steel in Steel Face is going to work in the MRI.

They played music while I was in the MRI, Hopefully this time it’s by Steely Dan………

This episode is like a gag-a-day strip.

ka-funny

Steelface is about to become Puttyface….

I will add my experience to those who have already said this: They always ask about any metal that you might have in your body. (Earlier this year I had an episode of double vision, and I had an MRI to rule out the really bad causes.) Those things are incredibly LOUD!

I think we’re about to have a very gruesome, Chester Gould-like ending for our chum. It’s going to be HELL to clean up that MRI.

I’ve seen this in bad sci-fi movies SO many time. He’ll ether come out a shimmering, radioactive mass of antisocial goop or as an overdone baked potato. With fangs.

MRI machines are so much fun. Had to do one when they were diagnosing my cancer. You get a wee bit claustrophobic with that ring passing ovrr your face.

Off-panel a minute earlier…

NURSE: You don’t have a metal plate in your head, do you, Mr. Arceneaux?

ARCENEAUX: A metal PLATE? No…

NURSE: Good! Please lie down on the table for the MRI.

INSANELY OFF-TOPIC: After countless years of people shying away from me in the supermarket and Terri insisting, I’ve finally realized that, yes, I m actually insane. This bolt from the beige (this IS Kansas in the late fall, after all) came about when I ended up with a particularly good AI image when working on character refs for MORABU. Raccoon shape-shifter.

Some time much earlier, I’d written in harpy character who couldn’t actually…well…fly. Still, she COULD glide (sometimes), which vaguely helped the hero escape from a 100-foot cave up a sheer cliff — when she pushed hm off the ledge and grabbed him. She ended up annoying the heck out of me. I eve forgot to add her to scenes and at one point contemplated the party, a rousing round of good fellowship and campfire songs, and something vaguely disquieting roastign on a spit.

No, rally! Honestly, I ended up wanting to lightly dust the character in catnip and write in a very large cat to resolve the situation. Harpy was just not going anywhere. I could have done just as much with a Hello Kitty paperweight, even in any potential battle sequences.

“Th-they’re too much for us. Kitty Weight! Fight your way through and save the princess! We’ll wait here and hold the Insanely Large Army at bay!”

Same difference. Same…terrible…difference.

NOW I have a character with comedic and dramatic potential. Which means (here’s the proof) I’m about to rewrite those chapters dealing with That Cruddy Harpy.

The proof of insanity? It’s going to be a fairly big job, but I’m going to enjoy it.

Oh my. There may not be enough left of his face to identify him. Good thing he used his real name.

Like most career crooks, Steelpuss needed his head examined long ago!!!!

What happened to the steel plate that looked like it was bolted on steel face forehead? Last seen Nov 10, just before his accident.

This is NOT going to end well. The tech’s are supposed to ask patients if they have any metal in them before doing one of these scans, Either they’re not doing their job or Unky lied about it.

When the machine is turned on Steelface will have a gory ending. He was a bad guy but I don’t see that he did anything to deserve death—but, hey…

Robert will sue the hospital for wrongful death and malpractice for not asking Steelface if he had any metal in his body.

Robert will win millions in the settlement. He will buy his own theatre in competition with Patterson Playhouse where he will play the starring roles (alongside the mechanical dog) in The Biography of Elmer Fudd, a new opera based on Henry, and a new drama based on Swee’ Pea’s struggle with his nightgown fetish.

Vitamin will go out of business and hits the skids again. He will be forced to get a job stocking the vitamin aisle at Wal-Mart to be able to afford to feed the kid. Since he will no longer be a star, Kandikane’s movie flops sending them further into poverty with a crying child. Oh, the melodrama of it all!

Them’s my predictions and I’m stickin’ by ’em.

Go in with metal in the head?

MOVIE QUOTE—

“Pink.You’re wearing pink underwear”.

Christopher Reeve—SUPERMAN—1978

Okay,after they clean up the mushroom cloud hovering over the hospital….

We’re all so sure what’s going to happen….so watch us get fooled.

Speaking of metal in the body—ART CARNEY FOUGHT AT The Battle of the Bulge(WW2) and carried a big hunk of shrapnel in his leg that was never removed.

He developed that herky-jerky style of his because it hurt to stand regular on the leg for too long a time.

Wow, it’s sure edifying to read all these medical experts’ comments

1-TECHNICIAN: Your feet stink. STEELY: Like fish? That would be your dirty old…

2-… Shoot. Nobody can hear my clever retort over this blasted racket! HEY! MY SKIN IS STARTING TO TINGLE! And not in a minty fresh kind of way. OWWWWWWWWWWWW!

“Mr Arcenaux, do you have any metal implants of any kind?” .. is the FIRST question any MRI tech asks to AVOID injury.

In the frying pan……..

Ooh, skull torn apart by an MRI… this could make the top 10 list of Dick Tracy Villain Deaths.

There’s a slight distraction,as some guy named Karpse is running down the corridor with his bathrobe on fire.

1874 “NIGHT OF THE STEEL ASSASSIN” Ximés Torrés is a man-of-steel a genius who designed the machined the parts that went into his body after the terrible wounding he suffered during the US-Mexican War (1846-1848). Secret Service agents Jim West and Artemis Gordon go up against him. A 19th century cyborg.

As many have noted, this may lead to a not so pretty ending for Shredded-steel-fragmentsFace! Or, Mike have something Entirely Different coming.

Wait and see, Grasshopper (or, for the more hardy literary souls among us, Gracehoper)….