Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for February 01, 2022

If I left off golf jokes tonight, would someone say I was off course? Of course, of course…

A woman’s family decides to take her to Disneyland to celebrate her 100th birthday. Just after they get inside the park, a big gust of wind comes up, causing her dress to do a Marilyn Monroe on her. She reaches up and grabs her hat.

“Gramma!” her adult granddaughter hisses. “Pull your dress down – you’re showing everything!”

“Let ‘em look,” Gramma replies. What’s down there is a hundred years old. This hat is brand new!”

Hernest Emingway One time I wrote 48 different endings.

One time I was 83 feet tall and 11 times as strong as Kevlar.

Kesa Vikimaki One time I traveled at 117 miles per hour on three wheels.

May the Lord be with you.

Stunt driver Vesa Hemingway tried 47 different tires before he was able to do a side wheelie on an 82-foot long web.

I’ve heard of BARKING spiders!

A pair of spider jokes.

1. To this day, biologists still cannot figure out the two greatest mysteries about spiders:Where the heck did they come from?

Where the heck did they just go?

2. Today I asked my daughter for a phone book.She said “you’re such a boomer” and handed me her phone.

So, now, the spider’s dead, my daughter’s phone is broken, and she’s really miffed with me.

Until next time.

Also on August 31, 2016, Finnish stunt driver Vesa Kivimaki died in a firey car crash.

And heaven help you if you run across the arf spider.

Take care, may awarded dog whisperer Cesar “Arf, Woof, Bark, I Speak Them All” Millanord be with you, and gesundheit.

If Ernest Hemingway’s Farewell to Arms was really autobiographical, after Catherine’s death, Fredric’s last words would have been something like, “Boom, there goes the dynamite!”

Actually, a shotgun blast from his W & C Scott duck hunting shotgun. NOT a BOSS shotgun he purchased from Abercrombie and Fitch, as was often cited in the press.

a guy who likes snakes could write 48 endings, build a 83 ft web and drive 117mph on 2 wheels

Spider silk is amazingly strong. As stated stronger than KEVLAR by 10 fold!

A brilliant tailor decided to make spider silk trousers for men. He debuted his new fiber fashion in Milan in 2017.

Alas, the fashion fizzled when flies kept getting stuck!

Heard this one on the World Wide Web.

◠(ง •_•)ง◠ Spider OUT

So – is the nickname on the hood of the car short for “Catastrophe?”

ha! i went 117 mph on my electric unicycle

46th time’s the charm thinks Ernest. No! 47th time’s the charm. Much better! This’ll win a Pulitzer! (Did it though, people who’ve read EH’s book?)

Castano is Italian (shortened form) for Horse Chestnut. It’s also spelled Castagno. Most commercially sourced chestnuts sold in America at Christmas time are from Italy. Believe it or Nuts!

Shows how Earnest Ernest was about lit-ra-chaw.

high speed side wheelies are not that uncommon. Happens all the time on illegal city racing.

And the guy from “Silver Linings Playbook” hated that ending.

I feel like Mr. Darwin does not get to retain ownership of the bark spider since he’s dead.

Ernest Hemingway was a genius but was also self destructive.