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1. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   “Everything’s starting to click for me!” said my 91-year old dad at dinner.

   “My knees, my elbows, my neck … "
2. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   Just as he was celebrating his 91st birthday, dad received a jury-duty notice. He called the clerk’s office to remind them that he was exempt because of age.

   “You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms,” the clerk said.

   “But I filled them out last year,” he replied.

   “You have to fill them out every year.”

   “Why? Do you think I’m getting younger?”

3. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. “It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

   After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

4. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   My 91-year-old dad walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID.

   “You’ve got to be kidding,” he said. “I’m almost 92 years old.”

   The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. Dad showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change.

   “The tip is for carding me,” dad said.

   The bartender put the change in the tip cup. “Thanks,” he said. “Works every time.”

5. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   After my 91-year-old dad finished having his hair cut, the barber announced, “There, now you look ten years younger.”

   My dad, un­impressed, replied, “Who wants to look 81 years old?”

6. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   To my astonishment, a police car pulled up to my dad’s house and he got out. The patrolman explained that “the old gentleman” had been lost in the city park and had asked for help.

   “Why, dad,” I said, “you’ve been going there for 70 years. How could you get lost?”

   The old man smiled slyly. “Wasn’t exactly lost,” he admitted. “I just got tired of walking.”

7. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   Dad was also a practical joker. After trick-or-treating, a teen took a shortcut home through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man (my dad) with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

   “I thought you were a ghost,” says the relieved teen. “What are you doing working so late?”

   “Oh, those idiots,” grumbles dad. “They misspelled my name!”

8. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   When my 91-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to determine Dad’s mental state, asked, “What gets you up in the morning?”

   My father shrugged. “Probably the same thing as everyone my age, the bathroom.”

   But Doc replied, “well, you’re luckier than some, at your age quite a few folks, don’t bother getting up, to go to the bathroom.”

9. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

   On the phone with my 91-year-old dad, I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. He suddenly grew indignant. “Why should I pay someone to shovel?” he demanded. “You do it, son you’re only 65!”

10. 5 days ago on Breaking Cat News

    Dad also said in his will, one of the shortest wills ever written: “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.”