Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 25, 2022

Are we ready for a history lesson, Ripley’s fans? Most of us know the story about George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is probably apocryphal. The following gem, also apocryphal, needs occasional updating, but no real introduction, at least not for the Americans in our audience:

A young boy decides to push over the outhouse. He does, and then runs laughing from the scene. A couple of hours later, his father confronts him. “Did you push over the outhouse?” he angrily asks.

“I cannot tell a lie, Father. I did.” whereupon the father puts the boy over his knee and and proceeds to give him a terrific thrashing.

“But, Father,” the boy exclaims, “George Washington said the same thing about the cherry tree, and his father didn’t punish him!!”

Dad explains: “George Washington’s father wasn’t in the cherry tree at the time.”

Slightly more than 2,919. Slightly more than 1,760. A little bit more than 31.

Ravid Dush One time I completed 2,920 catches.

Pylvia Sope Bana Naubles Is she Catholic? I thought no girl could be a pope.

One time I was one of 32 people who stayed overnight in an IKEA furniture store.

May the Lord be with you.

My friend Stubby used to juggle axes.

The stranded 31 Danes must’ve dined on Swedish meatballs and the like at the IKEA. (Was this event before or after Christmas by the way?)

Apparently the people in the IKEA were mostly employees, and employees from a nearby toy store, as well as a half-dozen customers, and they seemed to have all had a decent time.

This joke just seems to mesh with Steve’s, like gears in a transmission.

Old Man Jack married an old maid. Life had been hard on old Ethel, but they were truly in love, and their families agreed it was best for them to live out their final days in joy.

On their wedding night, Jack lay on the bed and watched his new bride undress.

She took out her glass eye and placed it in a velvet case. Next, she removed her false teeth and put them in a glass of water. Taking off her wig, she placed it on a small bust on the dresser. She removed her prosthetic leg, and stood it beside the chair.

Jack finally spoke: “When you get to the part I’m waiting for, just toss it over.”

Until next time.

Another night of two-fers. I hope this amuses.

The redneck farmer was disturbed when he found out his son was engaging in self stimulation several times a day out in the barn. “Boy, you gotta quit that! Go out and git yo’self a wife.”

So the boy went out and found himself a pretty young girl, to whom he got married. But a week or so after the wedding, the farmer found his son choking the chicken again.

“You crazy boy!!” he yelled. “That Elli-Mae’s a fine young gal!!” “I know Paw,” the boy replied, “but her arm gits tired sometimes!”

I think I’m through now. Until next time.

I hope that David wasn’t juggling at Sylvia’s house.

Oops. I made a comment about the actual RBIoN comic.

Unfortunately for David the 2,920 catch didn’t go so well… His nickname is now Stumpy.

If that guy’s not careful he’ll drop that axe and cut that sleeping man’s head off.

I can see it now. A biopic about that guy called “So I Married An Axe Juggler.”

Make up your mind, is it Pope or Bubbles. We need to get the paperwork right.

Take care, may non-existent deity Jayzus H. “They Exaggerated And Lied About Me So Even I Bought Into It” Magillicudord be with you, and gesundheit.

What the comic strip failed to mention that the 2920 miss was the last one he ever had. (I’m joking)

And all the customers at IKEA had to make their own beds.

I like how they solved the confusing number font problem by enlarging the size of the numbers. I can actually tell that it’s a 31 while it would have looked like an 81 previously.

Why is some axecrobat eve teaching STEM?

Yes and now David is a one arm teacher

Editorial on today’s selection: yawn

After the 2,920th flip, they now call David Rush Lefty.

Nah, it wasn’t the snowstorm, those people were just too exhausted to find their way out of the store

And those 31 people who were stranded overnight in an IKEA store only managed to assemble one sleeper sofa (pictured); and they didn’t do it properly, either.

The people who stayed at IKEA probably had to make their own beds.

My mom has the Christmas ornament entry beat by a long shot. She has so many decorations, she had a huge shed built out back to store them all.

That first non-catch, however, ended his career…

If that were to happen over Black Friday weekend Gina & I may be staying at the Ikea in Shaumburg!

WAKE UP IKEA CUSTOMERS !!!