Herman by Jim Unger for April 24, 2021

Too bad for you – it’s Ladies Night.

One security question I frequently encounter is “What is the name of your oldest niece?” I give what used to be the correct answer before the sex change operation.

With a fruit hat (Carmen Miranda docet) you could be a gorgeous drag queen.

So he slipped out in a slip.

It’s late in the evening He’s wondering what clothes to wear He puts on her make up And brushes his spare blonde hair And then he asks me, “Do I look alright?” And I say, “Yes, you look wonderful tonight”

Bubba over there wants to buy you a drink.

That pink dress might just get you that section 8

Oy! But he DID go out …..

Klinger! You’re still around??

Looks like her plan didn’t work well at all.

If you go to the right kind of bar nobody will notice

Oh? How did you a dress the problem?

The color does something for your eyes. They’ll soon be the same color.

And he had to ride the lawn mower to get there.

Good news is, he won’t have to pay for a drink all night.

And you just had to have that beer.

Sharon tried that with Ozzy once in San Antonio. He got banned from performing in Texas for peeing on the Alamo.

Life’s such a drag!

Geez, put a bra on!

And suddenly, the place filled with long-shore men and the place got deathly quiet…

So she thought or he so thought or whatever….

Anyway that looks gorgeous on you!

Lacy things the wife is missin’Didn’t ask her permission,I’m wearin’ her clothes, her silk panty hose,Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear.

“What’s a guy … er, gal gotta do you to get a drink around here?”

He’s putting one over someone, either the bartender or his wife.

On the up side, you shouldn’t have a problem with people keeping their distance.

He made up that excuse. He didn’t want to admit that he didn’t know what they meant by a “dress code”.

I’m not sure he has the right figure to pull off that look.

I had a friend who lost his shirt, literally, and borrowed a mini-skirt dress from a female friend to wear back to the base. He was tall enough that it just looked like a very bad fashion statement. But you can bet we never let him live it down.

Fellow walked into the bar I was at and proudly announced his wife hid his shoes so he wouldn’t go out. He was in his socks,