The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 16, 2020

10-½? In two years, those little kids will be twice the size.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.

In a pig’s eye – it’s bleedin’ obvious that she figured out SOMETHING to pass the time!

…and pregnant again! How does she do it?

I suspect she’s always shoe horny.

In b4 Ed Sullivan. ;)

This joke’s as worn as an old shoe.

I bet she feeds them Sole Foods, from Hole Foods.

I suppose when that nursery rhyme was written down, age 40 was considered old.

The old woman needs to be in a “home”! :-p

Once the salesman got his foot in the door…!

She ended up with a slightly used one from a basketball player!

Is this guy the sole proprietor?

She has a lot of sole!

My uncle owned a shoe store for 40+ years, and a Brannock Device was featured at his funeral as an example of Incontrovertible Truth in our lives.

Remember those fake x-ray machines they had at the shoe store to see if the shoes fit?

Hey, I haven’t seen one of those things for at least 6 decades. Mom and my wife later (RIP both), simply pushed the shoe over my right big toe and voila.

All of her boyfriends abandoned her. They were a bunch of heels.

We told her to stay away from that Shoemaker fellow.

let’s not and say we did – too many people is how we got to this problem

Better get a 12-wide

Maybe she’s looking to expand upwards, like a knee-high boot, but like Paul Bunyan rather than you or me.

Go for a mobile home. You can toe it anywhere.

With 12, you egg roll

Early in basic training, many years ago, I was measured as a size 10 and a half. But they gave me size 12’s, to give me room to grow. And in all these years, my feet are still the same size, and those boots are still way to big. Thanks a lot!

She should be fitted for a……. never mind ……..