Tom Toles for June 24, 2020

Fortunately, he’s slimy enough to slide though the eye of a needle.

Disbar Barr and put him behind bars.

I guess he’s not “resigned” enough to his fate!

Radical theocratic religious beliefs and constitutional democratic republican (small ‘r’) justice don’t mix well.

Bonespurs whole staff is in the integrity ditch.

Justice? Oh, it’s what the Orange horror clown says it is today!

Don’t worry MAGAts. Barr can go much lower, and will. During his job interview with Trump he was asked “How low will you go?” His answer was “As low as you need me to, master.”

Worst attorney general ever?

Dancing the Limbo – {4 beats/line}

The Department of Justice’s scheming czar

contorts to limbo-dance under the bar

{lower than anyone else by far}, -

- so’s to keep Donald’s hand in the cookie jar.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I would say it is more bumper cars than a Ferris wheel…

“The Ballad of Billy Barr” (after “Sixteen Tons,” by Merle Travis)

Some people say that humans aren’t born a blank slate,

What’s written in genetics is determined by Fate,

That a seeming tender babe can be really born bad,

Especially with the background that Donald Trump had …

.

You work for Donald J. Trump, and what have you got?

Subpoenas served to you, a reputation that’s shot.

St. Peter don’t bother calling, for I know full well —

When it’s time to pass over, I’m going to Hell.

.

My name is Bill Barr, and I always was stout,

School bullies called me “Candy” and shouted me out,

Through my tears I resolved to get back at those brutes,

So at age eight I slapped them with harassment lawsuits.

.

You work for Donald J. Trump, and what do you do?

You obfuscate truth and in law courts you sue.

St. Peter, I’m sorry, my reservation make null,

My poor soul is with sinful deeds too full.

.

In my law career later I got off the tracks,

I became a classy hack lawyer for Republican whacks.

I hardened my mind to the wrongs that were done,

And discarded my morals until there were none.

.

I work for Donald J. Trump, replacing Jeff Sessions,

From the start catered badly to Trump’s evil obsessions.

St. Peter, I’m sorry, I know what you’ll say:

I must go “down there” on my last judgment day.

.

So here I am now, principles low as they’ll get,

At a Limbo Competition I’d win every bet,

I am so low down I’m nearly underground,

To which I’d better get used, as I know where I’m bound.

.

You work for Donald J. Trump, you’d better be warned:

You might end up fired and via Twitter be scorned.

If I had things to do different, no lawyer I’d be,

I’d punch out those bullies and from then on live free.

The GOP has lowered the bar so far that they have to bring in earth moving equipment to keep going

When the history books get written, is there any chance that Barr won’t be perceived as the single most corrupt cabinet member of all time?

Note his hand is ON THE GROUND

And that’s a maximum, not a minimum.

Toles has Barr’s shape right for this "toon.

Come on Toles! Let’s keep the Hunchback of Notre Dame out of all this. Isn’t it bad enough his church caught fire, he had ringing in his ears, never received the free back brace at little or no cost, was always at church despite bats in the belfry. The comparison to A.G. Barr is more than I can take.

Trump is, if anything, more corrupt now than when he entered the White House. Apparently, when you lower the bar, the Barr lowers you.

It’s like a contest among them to see who can go lower. Sheesh…

The embarrassment to our species (and country) continues. May it end this November (please!)?

Get a shovel, they set this one in Hell!

Appears that fewer and fewer people want to get on Barr’s ride…

“Low Barr, everybody down / Low Barr, yeah we’re coming to a town / And you’ll always shaft your neighbor / And you’ll always screw your pal / If you ever try to navigate on the Low Barr Canal!” Apologies to a venerable old American Folk Song.

I would say that Hair Gropingfuror is the Pennywise in this circus but I don’t want to insult Stephen King’s work.

Trump “owns” you or you are a non-person.

It’s still too high for Trump & Barr

{Off-topic:}

Trump We Can Do Without – {4 beats/line}

“Trump is a prez we can do without,”

say increasingly more of his erstwhile base, -

- yet Trump hasn’t yet quite lost his clout. …

… His base should acknowledge their shame and disgrace

that they’ve dragged their feet about kicking him out; -

- that they’re not yet rid of this mental case.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

I wanted to have the most wonderful time

I went to Trump’s circus, with only a dime

But I saw all the clowns in the tents—and then, HE

And I barfed and I barfed, yessiree!

There were geeks with their chickenhawks, raising a stink

And a large bearded lady—Don, Jr. I think

An android named Jared, another named Mikey

(Ten pence is too much for me ever to like he)

Ivanka and Eric—and, then, least of all

Their Daddy Undearest—with a brain ten sizes too small!

{Off-topic:}

A Colonic for the Prez – {limerick}

Prescribe for The Donald a tonic

which’ll purge his BS; – a colonic.

His malarkey is chronic

and bigly moronic,

with none of it sweetly platonic.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

{Off-topic:}

Massaging His Nutty Ego – {4 beats/line}

His nutsiness floods in a yuuge barrage. -

- Tho’ it looks like a spate of self-sabotage,

it exhilarates his yuuge entourage

and they stroke his ego with their fawning massage.

… Coda:

His value’s illusory, – a mere mirage

as his faults the Trumpites camouflage.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Best Reichsführer ever.

Buck you, Farr. Dry. With a cactus.