Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 22, 2017

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 7 years ago

    It depends on what state you live in.

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    Adiraiju  almost 7 years ago

    So if pig comes across as paranoid, does that make him twice as annoyed?

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    JohnathanGeoffreyHughes  almost 7 years ago

    Unfortunately this joke doesn’t work in any other accent than American . . .

    (In Australian English, “Para” and “Barely” don’t share any vowels).

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    Templo S.U.D.  almost 7 years ago

    “Paralegal”? I still don’t get it.

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    Sherlock Watson  almost 7 years ago

    I believe Paris is saying that she has the best paralegals he’s ever seen.

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    cdgar  almost 7 years ago

    Two barely-legals to go, please. Hot weekend planned.

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    BE THIS GUY  almost 7 years ago

    The posts here are getting creepy.

    See ya tomorrow!

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    ChristineFoxdale  almost 7 years ago

    Waste of perfectly good coffee

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    awgiedawgie Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    “Barely” legal is still legal.

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    tigre1again  almost 7 years ago

    Feeling cynical. “Dating”….doesn’t that mean, ‘sleeping with’….or, having sex with, FOR FREE?

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    Masterskrain  almost 7 years ago

    Pig REALLY needs to get his hearing checked…

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    mortaur  almost 7 years ago

    twin sister…paralegal pairs

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    chris_weaver  almost 7 years ago

    Either way – way to go, Goat!

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    whiteheron  almost 7 years ago

    How would he date someone he hadn’t met?

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    Beaker  almost 7 years ago

    But hats off to him for dating someone with a disability.

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    Andrew Sleeth  almost 7 years ago

    But is that measured in goat years?

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    RG_Dustbin  almost 7 years ago

    Aren’t ‘paralegals’ airborne lawyers who are dropped into combat zones to sue our own paratroops….?

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    I live near Reno – Paradice?

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    I asked the kid, how tall are you – Parameter.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    He was so ill that he needed – Paradox.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    I’ll be leaving soon – Paragon.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    Almost went to war – Parabellum

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    I’m close by – Parasite

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    Packratjohn Premium Member almost 7 years ago

    Couldn’t get my axes perpendicular – Paragraph

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    mjb515  almost 7 years ago

    “Barely legal” is still legal.

    “Margaret came to me was all he saidBefore she knew my name she was in my bedShe was only sweet sixteenTwenty thousand days younger than me

    “Marry me” she said I don’t reply“Daddy said you’d better, or you’ll die”She wants a house and fifteen kids I guessShe does my workAnd I can’t find a state we’re legal in"

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member almost 7 years ago


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    BiathlonNut  almost 7 years ago

    Paradise. Gamblers idea of Heaven.

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    serial232  almost 7 years ago

    This may have been funny had the words, “she’s a”, before paralegal. Then pig would have hit him and replied, “she’s bare n illegal”. Sometimes he misses by a mile. It’s like my wife working in the garden this morning and me asking if she like to go to Lowes for plants. She replied, “I have to start what I finish”.

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    Number Three  almost 7 years ago

    Did he have an ex girlfriend called “Ill-Legal”?


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    Sisyphos  almost 7 years ago

    Pig, or self-righteous prig?

    Pig thinks Goat is too old for this “barely legal” girl?

    Oh, Pig. Sometimes (most times, actually) you are such a dimwit. Or parawit. Or twit….

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    JudyAz  almost 7 years ago

    20 cents – paradigm

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    Swirls Before Pine  almost 7 years ago

    There is a jail sentence between dating twenty-five year old girls, and dating twenty five year old girls.

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    markmoss1  almost 7 years ago

    “Barely legal” is still legal, but there’s legal, and then there’s creepy. If one of my 16 year-old grandsons hooked up with a 15 year old girl, it would apparently be illegal here in Michigan, although quite unlikely to be prosecuted. If I hooked up with one of their 16 year old classmates, it would be legal, but very, very creepy.

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    ND Cool Z  over 5 years ago

    Is she blonde?

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