Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 08, 2021

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    Vilyehm  about 3 years ago

    What a smooth bore.

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    parforden  about 3 years ago

    Judge Howitzer has spoken!

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    Digital Frog  about 3 years ago

    If may not be law, but it is canon.

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    Concretionist  about 3 years ago

    Yeah. Drivers have fantasies like that too. Mine involves a bulldozer blade for the slowpoke in front. And a 50 terawatt laser for the guy behind me driving the jacked pickup with his high beams on.

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    finkd  about 3 years ago

    Did he shoot the district attorney or the defense attorney?

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    Say What Now‽ Premium Member about 3 years ago

    The attorney’s case was full of holes. Now the attorney is full of holes.

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    Masterskrain  about 3 years ago

    “And when I say Overruled, I MEAN Overruled!”

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    Wilde Bill  about 3 years ago

    Seems like the judge is trying to compensate for something.

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    Bilan  about 3 years ago

    That must be Judge Dreddnought.

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    KenDHoward1  about 3 years ago

    Mine is more of a “Mad Max” … Your car is stolen, and you know you’re never going to get it back, so, you push the remote on the bomb you’ve wired into the system, blowing up your car with the guy that stole it … One thing, always remember where you parked, just so you don’t make a mistake … ;)

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    dot-the-I  about 3 years ago

    Maybe every judge, but mostly among the lesser caliber ones

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    rmercer Premium Member about 3 years ago

    Kinda messy. I’d go with a megawatt laser.

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    jvo  about 3 years ago

    I would not be wanting to sit in the public seats, or walking in the corridor outside.

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    Zebrastripes  about 3 years ago

    The court will now take a recess……until we locate the lawyer.

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    Chris  about 3 years ago

    works for me. :D

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    WDemBlk Premium Member about 3 years ago

    When I worked as a cashier or teller, I just wanted a trapdoor. At first, stocked with gators, then I realized piranahs did a much better job. Too bad it was just wishful thinking.

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    William Bednar Premium Member about 3 years ago

    Judge Roy Bean had one of those.

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    Papakillamon  about 3 years ago

    On a different note, my fantasy is to drive a D9 Cat, bucket down at about 60 mph scooping up speed bumps

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    Lawrence.S  about 3 years ago

    Could work for “Objection sustained!” too. A lawyer can be a jerk by making too many out-of-order objections (as in the example illustrated), but it is possible to be a jerk with a whole line of open questions, insinuations, and other dubious attacks on a witness which require objections from opposing counsel. But it is far easier for Wiley to illustrate ‘overruled’, ‘sustained’ would leave too many readers scratching their heads.

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    gregcomn  about 3 years ago

    My father affixed a large pivoting fresnel lens on the dashboard. If approaching cars with high beams on didn’t respond to his flashing his lights at them, he would wait until they got close and then flipped the fresnel up at them. Non Sequitur style road rage!

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    gpantzer  about 3 years ago

    “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” Comedian George Carlin

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    A Hip loving Canadian...  about 3 years ago

    The judge is having a blast.

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    the lost wizard  about 3 years ago

    Law and Order CSI. (Courtroom Scenario Innovation)

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    Michael G.  about 3 years ago

    Many US judges are packing heat under their robes.

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    paulscon  about 3 years ago

    my fantasy is to have one of those in my car so I can blast slow people out of the fast lane

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    bleu nez  about 3 years ago

    no comment today

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    DondiDoo  about 3 years ago

    The court finds YOU objectionable!

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    syzygy47  about 3 years ago

    What, you didn’t see that episode of Judge Judy?

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    DCBakerEsq  about 3 years ago

    … assuming the judge can stay awake long enough to hear the objection.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member about 3 years ago

    Here’s a mathematical proof of why the only kinds of drivers you encounter on the open road are either jerks or assholes. We begin with definitions:

    (a) A sane driver is anyone like you, who drives at exactly the right speed.

    (b) A jerk is anyone who goes slower than that.

    © An asshole is anyone who goes faster.

    Since the other sane drivers are going just as fast as you are, you will never overtake them, and they will never overtake you. However, you’re guaranteed to eventually catch up to those dawdly jerks ahead of you, and those impatient assholes in back will always end up tailgating you. Therefore it’s simple logic that the only other drivers you encounter will always be either jerks or assholes. QED.

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    cuzinron47  about 3 years ago

    Don’t judge lest ye be judged. Especially when you use these tactics.

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    willie_mctell  about 3 years ago

    When I worked in a pizza parlor my dream was trap doors and deadfalls activated from behind the counter.

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    MFRXIM Premium Member about 3 years ago

    Put Jen Psaki on the bench. She knows how to deal with idiots.

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    bakana  about 3 years ago

    Not Every Judge.

    Some of them would prefer to mount a .50 Caliber machine gun on the bench.

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    A Hip loving Canadian...  about 3 years ago

    This reminds me of Trump’s attempt at overturning the elections through the courts. KABOOM

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    JenSolo02  about 3 years ago

    Now that I put in 16 hours as an “Election official poll worker” for the Democratic Party Primary for the Virginia Gubernatorial Election, I have Jury Duty for the remaining Tuesdays in June! I’ll be ready for the cannon fire….

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    Mediatech  about 3 years ago

    Would you like to appeal to a court of higher calibre?

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    SrTechWriter  about 3 years ago

    A friend of mine often expressed a desire. A scrap dealer near us had several “duce and a half” half-track trucks in its lot. Those each had a disabled 20mm machine gun and gunner’s seat mounted on a swiveling frame. He wanted to buy one, station his little 9-year-old boy in the gunner’s seat dressed in WWI flight jacket, helmet, and goggles, and take it at max speed (45 mph) out on 65 mph I-35W just South of Minneapolis. We had some pretty good laughs about the mental picture his description evoked.

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    bwsevier Premium Member about 3 years ago

    I much prefer the machine guns in the front like Bond had in his DB…

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