Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 09, 2023

Yeah great, but I came here because my hair turned blue and now I’m afraid of winky logos.

dancing kittens, bedazzled flyswatters, the Letter X, shea butter wet wipes…

Looks good as a blue print, butt as$ is better in rose colored glasses.

Mark Rothko, hypnotist.

I once tried to overcome a fear of velvet paintings (especially the one of a matador swirling his cape) by trying to find one to buy … and, believe it or not, I couldn’t find one … had to settle for an Elvis Presley with a microphone …

it was a Blue, Blue Blue Blue Christmas …!

There’s an app for that: Frog App(lause).

Earwigs can die in a fire. that is all.

What if she’s not under hypnosis but just dead?

You will retain your fear that I have placed a hypnotic trigger in your mind that will cause you to believe you are a chicken and cluck and strut for a bit, retaining no memory of it, when the trigger phrase is uttered in your presence.

So this is why I’m so discombobulated!

Must have been that green Prell Shampoo that penetrated my skull and short circuited my lobes and gave me all these fears!

Can I make payments?

I told my dentist that I knew why he gave me nitrous oxide when working on my teeth … Afterwards, he’d present his bill while I was still too high and happy to feel the pain in my wallet.

Oh, no, I’ll STILL fear your bill! That NEVER goes away!!

Next week, doc, let’s work on leaf blowers, heavy duty staples, metal file prongs, wasps, and fanatics. And you can send my bill straight to collection.

The bill is worth it, if it got rid of that laundry list of phobias.

But what about fern spores?

super specific suggestion!

Blah, blah, blah!

Just another unfortunate Hypnotic Scam being perpetrated with a full deck of misdirection “phobias cured” before coming to the Real Point, the bill for “services rendered”!

Never trust the hypno-therapist!

I’d never before considered there being a fear of velvet!!!

It’s that commercial, doc. The one with the pearl dropping through the shampoo. I feel like I’m the pearl, being lost forever, sinking slowly but with absolute certainty, my life passing by at a slow pace, nearly unreal, as the depth of my despair increases.

‘…I accept Venmo and PayPal…’

…ok…were those people in the comic, yesterday?…

…‘cuz, I didn’t see ‘em …

…darn small phone…

…first, I dont see the blink…

…now, this…

…but, like most folks in Cuyahoga Falls, I have these same aversions…

…I blame Rex’s erection…

…living in the shadow of that religious monstrosity has left us all Stranger Things like…

…so, it’s all our own fault…

…we had it all figured out…

…but our politicians refused to pay our exorcists…

… so we got repossessed…

…thanks, Don Walters…

…luckily, if you eat 15 Swenson Galley Boys…

…Black Tiger Hypnotism gives you 45% off your first 5 sessions…

I also fear late uploads on Sunday mornings …!

Most cool :-)