Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 08, 2022

For once, Rat is quite right.

Don’t ask why unless you enjoy the abuse.

Speak the truth in love, but in fairness, you should never ask a question to which you don’t want the answer!

One of my fine memories is the day that my manager required all his minions to attend an all day seminar on how to be more efficient. The morning was spent re-iterating variations on “don’t do things that aren’t actually productive”. I left a note on my desk when I went for lunch: “Got it! Won’t be back for afternoon session!”

I was the only one who did. My manager WAS amused (he was a good manager in some ways).

RSVP’ing back to a wedding invitation, “Maybe next time!” is frowned upon, too. :-D

RSVP: Roast Skunk Very Possible

“Please RSVP” is just as redundant as “PIN number”, “ISBN number”, “GED diploma”, “AC current”, “VIN number”, “RPG game”, “VAT tax”, “SAT test”, “COVID virus”, “UPC code”, “LCD display”, or “ATM machine” — which hasn’t seemed to slow anybody down any.

Another Rat-like reaction would be not to respond at all, because you don’t care about their plans, and can’t be bothered to let them know you’re not coming.

“I will not be attending” is the “Reason for not attending”.

Don’t wanna.

At least Rat is participating in a pointless market research survey. I’ve given up on them years ago.

With Rat’s attitude about everything, they are probably glad he isn’t going to be there. It’s supposed to be a “gala event”, which signifies a happy occasion. Rat is just a surly downer type of person.

The truth WILL set you free! Sometimes from you job, your marriage, your friends, etc.

Rat is correct

RSVP = I have to know how many chickens to kill

I think Rat and I are kindred spirits. I don’t like those social events with forced small talk with people I don’t know.

Life is also too long to do the stupid things you don’t want to do.

I never get to go to any events, because of something stupid screwing it ip.

or so it says.

Is that a report from the Department of Redundancy Department?

passing on my 50th high school reunion for exactly that reason

Rat has displayed honesty! Wow!

I want that entire third panel on a T-shirt. I will literally wear it all the time

RSVP is a polite way to ask if you’re attending an event. So as plans can go forward knowing the amount of people attending.

It is still socially polite to respond ….and never goes out of style!

Whoever sent that invite just dodged the bullet.

Life is short, so spend it doing the stupid things you WANT to do.

When I get one of those cards, if I’m not going, chances are quite good I simply won’t bother sending it back. And if you ask me to write a reason, which is far more work than checking a box, you’ve just guaranteed you’ll never get it.

From his high school alumni association, no doubt.

If you say “laser” to refer to the device, you’re guilty of a similar, but opposite “fault.” The acronym laser refers to the process of producing that kind of light (“light AMPLIFICATION…”)

The truth shall make ye fret.

Do people actually send out invitations that demand you give a reason for not attending? I haven’t ever seen such a thing. Pretty rude, in my opinion. Are they going to send back, “That’s not a good enough reason. You have to attend anyway!”?

Next, we’ll explore oxymorons like Government Intelligence.

Hehehe that was something Jesus said in John 8:31,32Jesus went on to say to the Jews who had believed him: “If you remain in my word, you are really my disciples,32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Better than saying, l got to wash my hair that night….

Rat has a way of using blunt force with the pen!

This invitation was sent by people who don’t know Rat I take it.

I still like a Winnie the Pooh toon I saw years ago – Owl was dancing around his place singing about how he liked being alone; the phone rang: “What’s that? Dinner next Tuesday? I’m sorry, I have other plans (I’m dining alone)” (at least he was polite enough to hang up before that last line..)

Gag! So true. I have or recently had a couple or three of those pretentious “gala” invitations pending. They of course want really just one thing: lotsa money….

What a coincidence, I skipped my class reunion for the same reason