Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 21, 2021

No spitting. Daffy Duck isn’t welcome here.

Does heaven have special filters that convert p to rain?

Where did you THINK rain came from?

I feel for those guys. The four years just ended and what happens? They die.

These days, more like “No splitting (up).”

United is the goal. Always.

This “Heaven” might be the “Good Place” “Heaven”.

You would think that would be a given.

Took four years to get here. I look forward to the nightly news, “The President of the United States was boring today. He said nothing offensive or untrue. Now to sports…”

There may not be any spitting up there, but the feces is sure going to hit the rotor blades down here for 45.

So oven-roasting is OK, but spit-roasting is not?

I’ll keep coming here every day to see how long it takes for people to get over their TDS.

Huh. Apparently, the Tijuana sign maker has indeed gone to heaven. Or at least as far as the gate.

Non Sequitur living up to its name today.

You’d think a god who’s OK with his spokesmen harming kids wouldn’t mind spitting.

It’s on both sides where they talk of unity and if they get the power they immediately sign orders undoing the work of the previous office holder. Not a good show of unity.

Today is a bit heavenly in a way. There will no longer be a reason to hear from or see the past president on an almost minute-by-minute basis. In fact we don’t have to hear about him at all. Just like his presidency, he is no longer nor has he ever been of any useful consequence to the world.

To quote the bard of Avon, This is a slight, unmeritable man,

By the way, I hear people who live near Mar a Largo are really ecstatic about his taking up permanent residence in what is supposed to be a short stay club. More fun ahead, folks.

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” Mark Twain.

Political question from a non-American (as opposed to un-American). If Trump’s second impeachment stands, will he still be eligible to become the Grand Wizard of the KKK?

“No spitting” signs became prevalent during tuberculosis outbreaks and were also aimed at those who chewed tobacco.

WELCOME TO HEAVENNo lootingNo burningNo throwing of frozen bottled waterNo “Green Lasers”No throwing of balloons filled with noxious or corrosive chemicals

It wasn’t an election.

Are there restrooms in Heaven? And, if so, where does the plumbing lead?

Phil and Sal, a pair of Trump fans, get to the pearly gates. Phil asks “So c’mon St Pete, who really won the election?” “Well Joe Biden of course” was the reply. Looking at Sal, Phil gasps, “Wow, the fraud goes all the way to the top!”

A new guy in heaven sees this burly, authoritative person having a tantrum. He asks St. Peter, “Wow, is that Donald Trump?” St. Peter says, “Nah, that’s God. He just thinks he’s Trump.”

“Shooting”

So, no llamas are allowed in Heaven?

Does that mean that people who “Chaw” ain’t gittin’ in?

Baseball’s New Rules: No Spitting, No Arguing, and Lots of Testing

M.L.B. has a new 113-page manual with protocols to keep players and staff members from getting infected by the virus during its upcoming, shortened season. – The New York Times

St Peter: “Wear this mask and maintain social distancing.”