Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 13, 2020

Pig is going to be a hero in a Dicken’s novel.

First, the kitchen, where the food is.

Then, the living room, where the TV is.

Then, the bathroom, where the toilet is.

Finally, the bedroom, where the dreams are.

My brother-in-law has problems with debtors prison. And he only needs $25 a month to keep out I’ll trouble. Too many other things like cigarettes and drugs to buy I guess.

Then Potter’s Field.

Save me a seat on the bus to Hel|,Pig

If it weren’t for this pandemic, I too would like to go places just like my older brother and his flight attendant wife do (good thing she went on maternity leave before the pandemic made big news; she delivered my second nephew a few days shortly after Father’s Day last month).

And if you think there’s no debtors prison anymore, you have not been a poor black person jailed (in lieu of paying a fine, because you don’t HAVE any extra money for that) for something like “tail light inoperative”.

Excuse me I got to go to the bathroom, but Rat has locked himself in it again. May I use yours?

“Someday we’ll be together

Yes we will, yes we will

Say, someday (some sweet day) we’ll be together

I know, I know, I know, I know…."

—The Supremes

He’s just back from his trip yesterday, to The Family Circus, where he squashed that squealer, Dolly!

Pig just say “NO” to the Debbie Downer pills ! … Croc Power !

Man, even someone like Pig knows how to bring someone down.

Pig the existentialist. Hell is other cartoon characters. Now I get it.

Then Azkaban.

The young women who clean our house once a month are barely squeaking by. This might be funny if it weren’t applicable to SO many people right now.

Up the river without a paddle

And finally, he’s going to get grilled.

Followed by the Soft Cushions & the Comfy Chair.

Doom and gloom! PIG! a take a pill and stop the negativity

Maybe someone will pardon him, then he won’t have to go to prison.

After that I’m going to need a handbasket.

At least someone knows where he’s going.

“So long honey, babe / Where I’m bound, I can’t tell / Goodbye’s too good a word, babe / So I’ll just say fare thee well / I ain’t saying you treated me unkind / You could have done better but I don’t mind / You just kinda wasted my precious time / But don’t think twice, it’s all right.” Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right: Bob Dylan (1962)/

Still missing the crocs.

Next stop, the slaughter house?

Are we bringing back Debtor’s Prison?

If you have debt, you are in a debtor’s prison.

Poorhouses and debtor prisons are only seen on ghost shows, these days, because they are as haunted as heck.

A billionaire’s solution whitepaper heading to Congress.

Still a great attitude.

Just take a lesson from the President – he’s declared bankruptcy lots of times and just walked away from those bills! And now he’s a billionaire. Well, it’s a claim he enjoys making but doesn’t want to prove to anyone. I guess he doesn’t like to brag.

Worst type of type neurotic to meet in a bar: a realistic pessimist.

…or the butcher shop.

“Debtors’ Prisons” no longer exist, nominally, though a bad bankruptcy or the like can have much the same result as the 19th century solution.

Pig’s pessimism is profond….

sorry, those don’t exist