Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 05, 2018

Pig has set the record for slowest marathon run in history.

I know a good urologist he could see.

10 times a day means you… may want to get something examined.

Pig hits the wall after the 7th trip to the bathroom.

Get Fuzzy Version:

Satchel Pooch: Every time I go to the bathroom alone, I walk 37 feet. And I go to the bathroom 10 times a day.

Rob Wilco: So?

Satchel: So over the course of a year that’s 138,335 feet, which works out to over 26 miles.

Rob: Why are you telling me all this?

Satchel: Because I’ve completed my first marathon!

Rob: I don’t think that counts.

Satchel: It just takes discipline.

Pig has only been going to the bathroom for the last year? What about all the years prior to that?

If pig had a speedy roommate, he would never get to the bathroom first.

What are their cups resting on in panel 4?

Did the math. He pulls up about 100 feet short. Heartbreaking.

Pig, that’s a $hitty calculation.

Well folks come back this time next year to watch Pig finish his first marathon….

Excellent exercise program, Pig!

Persistence and achievable goals. Pig is a genius!

discipline…. it’s a force to contend with

…and a full bladder.

Someone thought of this one while sitting on the toilet.

Pastis-king of the couch potatoes. Is he counting using the toilet as squats?;)

If discipline = beer, then Pig’s got it right.

I walk more miles than Pig when I go to the can.

Hydration is good.

That’s a lotta cable.

He didn’t say what he was doing in the bathroom – maybe combing his hair?

And a tiny bladder.

Pig has one big house

And hordes of adoring fans lining the route to his bathroom, handing out toilet paper in support.

Unfortunately for pig, a marathon is not just 26 miles. Since 1908, the Olympic marathon [and nearly every other foot race in the world that is marketed as “a marathon”] is defined as 26 miles, 385 yards. And that is 138,435 feet. So pig’s total of 138, 335 is exactly 100 feet short of a marathon. Maybe he forgot to tell goat about that colonoscopy prep day. For the history of the marathon distance see https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/21/sports/the-marathons-accidental-route-to-26-miles-385-yards.html

I wonder how many steps from my recliner to the fridge?

Pig bladders, an apt amount of goes.

When you’re outside, it’s much further to your bathroom…

Get Rat to check your Prostate,Pig ;)

Isn’t Pig supposed to be dumb? How can he do math? This comic is so fake.

Actually…that would be over 70 miles in a year…

Throw in all the trips to the fridge and the number of marathons really add up!

And, over the course of a year, Pig has cleaned and jerked over 300 pounds of cans of beer!

Brings to mind Monty Python and the Marathon for Incontinents.

hahaha dream on pig

10 times a day is disturbing enough… and you walk 37.9 feet? You either have a huge home or you go by way of Cuba to the bathroom

Better to spend our tax dollars studying pig piss than an on weapons to kill Yemani children.

works for me

Oh? But look at your time, Pig! Definitely not even in the top 5000 marathoners….