Pickles by Brian Crane for December 12, 2023

No.

Did a tree in the forest just fall?

If a cat breaks dishes and no one is there to see it, did the dishes really break?

No sir

Only if he breaks a dish.

In the wife’s opinion, no.

Yah, but if put the dishes away in the wrong spots, she’ll know and won’t let you forget it.

She’ll just rewash them…all there is to it

I do wash the dishes (when she cooks, which is usually). And she checks my work and complains if it doesn’t meet spec. When I cook and she washes, I just correct what problems I find. Tain’t fair, but then I didn’t marry for “fair”.

If a man says something in the forest and there is’nt a woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a man speaks in the forest, and there isn’t a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?

I do not think Muffin cares, Earl!

Earl’s thinking of becoming a Buddhist: “What is the sound of one dish breaking?”

Quit bragging about doing something you should be doing half of the time anyway. Why do men get to retire and women don’t?

So long as he doesn’t dry them on the cat, it’ll be okay.

Mens payback, do it wrong and never be asked to do it again. Your husband can take apart an engine and put it back together again but has no clue on where a dish goes in the cabinet?

“Meow”. Translation: “Until someone observes the state of the dish, it remains both whole and broken simultaneously.” Translated from Schrödinger’s cat.

Wait…you’re speaking to Muffin? Roscoe wasn’t around to have the conversation with?

No good deed unless you get credit!

Earl just hasn’t noticed that Opal was so shocked she’s passed out on the floor.

Would you rather do dishes often or let them pile up and do a lot of them? That’s the difference between my wife and I.

Since Muffin seems very much at home on the counter top, and what cat isn’t, there is likely cat hair on those dishes.

Cats on countertops, stove tops, and table tops gag me.

Hey, Santa is noticing.

Proof of results, Earl!

I would check each and every dish after HE got done.

If he ran a spoon down the garbage, disposal it certainly happened. I did that three decades ago and I still hear about it. Voices in the head syndrome.

Yes. I wash the dishes every night without being asked, and never receive a thank you.

I will print this, laminate it, and take it to the flower holder at my friend’s grave. We agreed that whoever lived longer would do it for the one who left first.

Does she claim your acclaides when SHE does the dishes!

Nope.. and she will want to rewash them anyway. Don’t be wasting your time Earl, go for a walk, sit on a park bench and watch the ladies go by.

My experience says “no.”

Men – expecting to be noticed and praised whenever they do any of the things that their wives do every day. LOL.

Geezus, Earl, such neediness for what should be a daily part of your routine. . .

A man who does the dishes is a keeper.

I would sometimes wash the dishes without being asked, but then she complained that they weren’t clean enough, so I quit.

Oh yes, the fact will be recognized and filed under “Essential” in her Memory Warehouse. (See Stephen King.)

Probably not.

She’ll notice when either you break something or she finds a dirty dish…LOL

Pointing it out negates all the brownie points. Some men never learn.

I am always wondering why Americans in American comics or movies often wash dishes by hand – everybody owns a dishwasher, and that not only the last 10 yrs or so. Could anybody pls explain ? (And I am not only talking about elder couples using only few plates.) And by the way: my hubby is happy when I empty the dishwasher – usually he is doing that :D

Yes.

What do you expect, Earl? Do you say “Thanks, Opal” when SHE washes the dishes?

Tell her this is the way it’s gonna be.

Is he doing the dishes because he used the linen towels to polish his shoes?

And wipe down that counter too!!

Well … she won’t think the cat did it.

Opal is outside shoveling the snow. She can’t hear you.

After my ex asked, “Do you have to dirty up every pan in the house when you cook?”, I quit cooking—problem solved.

GET THAT FOOL CAT OFF THE COUNTER!!

Nope… but if you messed up a towel or broke one of the dishes/bowls/glass then and only then does the answer become… YEP

I couldn’t tell you if my wife or I do the dishes more or put them up more. I would say it is about even. We both put them in the same place and the only time we have trouble finding anything is when one of our daughters helps.