Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars.
Tom gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
“There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!”, she screams, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!!”
Three men have died and arrive together in the pearly gates.
St. Peter asks the first man “Have you ever cheated on your wife?”
The man proudly answers “Not once in 40 years of marriage”
“You are a good man” St Peter tells him. "Here are the keys to your brand new Porsche. " He Revs the engine and drives off.
St. Peter asks the second person “Did you ever cheat on your wife?”
The man shrugs his shoulders sheepishly “Ye sir. But only once at a party when I was drunk!”
St. Peter hmms.. “Well we have all erred in our life. Here are the keys to your Buick” the man , grateful he’s not being sent to hell, hops in the car puts it in gear and drives off.
The third man is sweating bullets. Before even hearing the question he falls down on his knees and begs forgiveness. “I’m sorry St. Peter. I cheated on my wife many times. I was a traveling salesman, I had a woman in every city, on every business trip, at every airport and field office in the lower 48 and most of Europe. Please, Please forgive me….”
St Peter looks in the book and hmmms… “Alright. The good news is you can come in. The bad news is here’s your Bicycle. You have reaped what you have sown”
The man phews, and starts peddling in, weaving back and forth a bit. He comes to the first guy in his Porsche, on the side of the road crying.
“What the hell do you have to be crying about? I’m tooling around heaven on a Rusty Bicycle, you’ve got a hot rod. What gives?”
The first man blows his nose and looks up. “My wife just went by on one roller skate”
oldthang 8 months ago
That looks pretty cool!
kbyrdleroy123 8 months ago
He won’t be slow getting to places now!
Wilde Bill 8 months ago
His plastic surgeon discovered rubber before the cavemen?
Ivy Valory Premium Member 8 months ago
Vroom! Vroom!
tkopechucklodge 8 months ago
Love those flames
Enter.Name.Here 8 months ago
Bird: "Just because the place said “Body Shop” doesn’t mean it was a plastic surgeon."
sandpiper 8 months ago
Very cool flame set. Trip south should go a lot quicker this year.
littlejohn Premium Member 8 months ago
Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars.
Tom gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
“There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!”, she screams, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!!”
Tom’s reply: “I wasn’t”.
littlejohn Premium Member 8 months ago
Three men have died and arrive together in the pearly gates.
St. Peter asks the first man “Have you ever cheated on your wife?”
The man proudly answers “Not once in 40 years of marriage”
“You are a good man” St Peter tells him. "Here are the keys to your brand new Porsche. " He Revs the engine and drives off.
St. Peter asks the second person “Did you ever cheat on your wife?”
The man shrugs his shoulders sheepishly “Ye sir. But only once at a party when I was drunk!”
St. Peter hmms.. “Well we have all erred in our life. Here are the keys to your Buick” the man , grateful he’s not being sent to hell, hops in the car puts it in gear and drives off.
The third man is sweating bullets. Before even hearing the question he falls down on his knees and begs forgiveness. “I’m sorry St. Peter. I cheated on my wife many times. I was a traveling salesman, I had a woman in every city, on every business trip, at every airport and field office in the lower 48 and most of Europe. Please, Please forgive me….”
St Peter looks in the book and hmmms… “Alright. The good news is you can come in. The bad news is here’s your Bicycle. You have reaped what you have sown”
The man phews, and starts peddling in, weaving back and forth a bit. He comes to the first guy in his Porsche, on the side of the road crying.
“What the hell do you have to be crying about? I’m tooling around heaven on a Rusty Bicycle, you’ve got a hot rod. What gives?”
The first man blows his nose and looks up. “My wife just went by on one roller skate”
jagedlo 8 months ago
After all that work, he’s now a RICH plastic surgeon!
Il Siciliano 8 months ago
That’s one turtle soup; ah, I mean one souped-up turtle!
mourdac Premium Member 8 months ago
I thought he went to a shop and had his shell pimped out.
colinmac2 8 months ago
Who’s his surgeon, Ed “Big Daddy” Roth?
rockyridge1977 8 months ago
What a “make over”!
Daltongang Premium Member 8 months ago
A little bondo, some paint and a few cheap accessories are all it needs to make an old body look new again.
rickseg 8 months ago
Looks like he’s also got dual tails.
MRC112 8 months ago
Given how many greens they eat, the exhaust pipes are probably a good move
Geophyzz 8 months ago
Looks like it’s just a V6.
assrdood 8 months ago
Lookin’ good, Turdle!
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 8 months ago
Awesome dude! Where the heck did that dam rabbit get off to.
Zebrastripes 8 months ago
He’s all souped up….ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! LMAO
poppacapsmokeblower 8 months ago
Plastic surgeon? I’d say you have a great mechanical engineer, maybe both.
Frank Burns Eats Worms 8 months ago
That’s one shell of a ride!
Tetonbil Premium Member 8 months ago
Love the artwork! Best Hot Rod Turtle I have ever seen! Nice work guys!
[Unnamed Reader - 83d506] 8 months ago
Break out the Turtle Wax!
mistercatworks 8 months ago
Was that before the disfiguring racing crash injury?
Mediatech 8 months ago
They’re called plastic surgeons because they accept credit cards.
mindjob 8 months ago
All the other turtles make way for him when he whizzes by
cactusbob333 8 months ago
At first I thought it read “plastic sturgeon”, but that would be an imitation fish.
zeexenon 8 months ago
Exactly why before you buy a “mint” old car you should take a magnet.
T... 8 months ago
Frankenturtle…
Troy 8 months ago
Pimp my turtle.
PlatudimusAtom Premium Member 8 months ago
Wonder if he had his engine blue printed?!
blakerl 8 months ago
But he still can’t flip himself over.
EXCALABUR 8 months ago
Turtlepower!
eddi-TBH 8 months ago
A V8 transplant.
wildlandwaters 8 months ago
It’s how you look that counts!