Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 15, 2022

One time there were 10 mega millions lottery tickets that were three numbers short. One time I had $831 million.

I’m not one to be mature so I’ll have ketchup on my hot dog if I want.

May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

Well the National Hot Dog & Sausage guys can kiss my lily white backside!

What do you folks like on your hot dogs?

(I don’t eat beef or pork anymore, so it’s a bit moot for me, but I’ve always preferred brats anyway)

I’m over eighteen — by twenty years — and I still don’t ketchup on my hot dogs. I’m more of into mustard and grilled onions. Also occasionally J. Dawgs sauce from a small Utah-based hot dog franchise.

This is the first hot dog joke I remember learning:

Hot Dogs in America

Two immigrants have just arrived in the United States and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart.

“Two dogs, please,” she says.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.

Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”

One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, “What part of the dog did you get?”

says “Make me one with everything”.

The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it, and goes on to help another customer.

The Buddhist asks “Where’s my change?” and the vendor replies “change must come from within”.

A gun then extends from the Buddhist’s chest and he asks again.

The vendor says “Whoa, whoa, whoa man, what about inner piece?

The Buddhist replies “This is my inner piece”.

Well, I don’t want to exhaust the topic, so I’ll close with this one:

A guy goes into a luncheonette and orders a hamburger and a hot dog. A few minutes later, the waitress puts a plate in front of him with an open bun on it, pulls a hamburger out of her armpit, and tosses it on the bun.

The guy says, “What the heck was that all about?”

She says, “I was just keeping it warm for you.”

He says, “Cancel my hot dog.”

Until next time.

There is no authority with the right to tell me what I can put on my hot dog.

First, a personal note: my professional duties are often going to prevent me from posting every night for awhile. Throw in a cruise or two, and I’ll be elsewhere. I’ll post when I can, of course, and when I’m Inspired — although you already know my inspiration often expires before it gets posted…

Posting cornball humor on RBION is one of my favorite things to do, and while I haven’t been at it as long as our Official Flounder (I got that from Ivar’s Acres of Clams) SteveSilver48, has been posting, I’ve still been posting here a long time. I’ll be back posting soon, but I’ll be at least glancing at comments pretty-much ever night…

Anyhow, on to the corn patch:

A comedian ventriloquist (aren’t they all?) is performing one night, his dummy making disparaging remarks about the audience as ventriloquists’ dummies often do. As the dummy seems to concentrate on women with a particular hair color, one such woman strides on stage and starts screaming: “You have no right to make fun of us like that. We don’t find it humorous at all!”

The ventriloquist begins apologizing for offending the woman with that particular hair color. “I’m sorry, Miss; I” – he begins, but she interrupts him, pointing her finger in his face. “Shut up!" she yells. "I’m not talking to you!”

Nonsense! I’m 60, and I put ketchup on my hot dogs.

Bad habits will ketchup with you as bad puns have just caught up with me! A grown-up hot dog lover will have mustard the courage to relish the taste of the hot dog all by itself. (Now go read Silver.)

According to the Ketchup and Mustard Council, it’s preferable and perfectly fine to consume your condiments with hot dogs and various other meat patties.

“You have the right to remain silent. Any more ketchup can & will be used against you in a court of law…”

I’ve never heard of the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, but I’ve always agreed with them.

Ummmm….why shouldn’t adults put ketchup on their hot dogs? Not that I would. I’m not big on ketchup except on fast food burgers. And is this just limited to hot dogs or are they saying adults shouldn’t use ketchup at all?

Well I for one think all angels are quite different and unique in many ways. Take their wingspan for example… what’s that? Oh, angles, not angels. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella

Take cafe, may disgraced baseball hotdog Pete “Hey I Didn’t Bet That Much And Others Did More Than Me And Worse Stuff” Rosord be with you, and gesundheit.

Screw those people, and everyone else. I’ll eat my hot dogs any blasted way I want. Mustard, fine? Ketchup, BAD? WHATS UP WITH THAT? Also steak sauce is great, but steak with ketchup is death penalty worthy? Forget it, I’ll eat any way I LIKE, thank you

Chicago dog, one if not the best IMHO, no ketchup.

Hot Dogs should only have mustard and sauerkraut, ketchup is for hamburgers

How about you do what makes you happy, and the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council can get bent?

Nobody tells me what to put on my sausage!!!!!

The New York State Barge Canal. There is a preserved stretch of the original Erie Canal near there somewhere. I lived in Fairport for some time as a child.

Once upon a time there were two brothers. One was lost at sea, the other was seen putting ketchup on a hotdog in Chicago. Neither body was ever recovered!

Each one of those 9 tickets is worth $1,000,000. If any of the holders are disappointed, they can always send the money to ME!

So much stuff is put on hot dogs in Chicago you wonder if there IS a hot dog somewhere on the bottom.

Dark mustard for me—-and where’s the picallili?

The bridge angle item – I don’t “get it” at all.

Someone always is one number short!

Please explain what angles are we talking about on the bridge, and why that was necessary, or what it accomplished (other than entry here).

Down with the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council.

I haven’t eaten ketchup on Hotdogs since I was… I think Six!

Does thew NHDASC have anything against jelly or syrup???

Ketchup is made from tomatoes, tomatoes are a nightshade plant.

AIUI, ketchup is slightly less bad for you than other condiments. I prefer mustard on my dogs, but I won’t judge you for differing.

When my son was four he told this joke to a British Coldstream Guard at the Tower in London – and he smiled!‘Why did the dog lie in the sun?’ ‘He wanted to be a hotdog’.

https://www.gocomics.com/thatababy/2018/06/15

I 100% agree with the N.H.D.S.C.

Institutions like that National Hot Dog Council thing are the reason people rebel against the establishment. Liberate the Hot Dog!!!

This whole no ketchup on hot dogs is just ridiculous. My favorite is ketchup, mustard, onions and relish! Also the Chicago is killer. However, I no longer eat meat — but there are a lot of close alternatives. Hot dogs are mostly smoke and seasoning flavor, anyways. The trick with the meat-free versions is to fry them in a pan with some butter!

Ketchup on a hotdog? Ewww!!!

I prefer mustard, anyway

I don’t get why people make such a huge deal about people putting ketchup on hotdogs. It just seems a little silly to me.