Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 08, 2022

It’ll stay at the bottom of Lake Mead until it dries up

At least two or three weeks

And he offers special ‘sweetheart’ pricing.

As far as I’m concerned his technique won’t make the toaster problem disappear. It’ll just change the problem from “doesn’t toast” to “can’t be found”.

Either way, it’s likely easier to just get a new one.

As it happens, he’s thinking of using it for another job across town.

Concrete shoes, cyanide, TNT (Done dirt cheap)

Neckties, contracts, high voltage (Done dirt cheap)

Do anything you want me to (Done dirt cheap)

Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap), Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)

Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap), Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap.

I know a couple of politicians I’d like fixed

Cash only, no IOUs

Unfortunately that kind of deal comes with a non-negotiable subscription price that goes on and on and on. Better to just throw it away and get a new one on Amazon. Unless the “toaster” is a reference to an ex-wife?

AKA “The Little Shop Around the Coroner”

Hire him to “paint the house”.

He’ll offer you a deal .. What kind of deal? .. A DEAL DEAL!! (apologies to Kelly’s Heroes).

How serendipitous! Just finished Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett last night. . .this guy MUST be from Ankh-Morpork. . .

Louigi is an excellent mechanic

Trouble is, if he disappears your toaster, he will be known to the stove when you become …a burden.

Does it involve a tarp and bleach?

My brother loves shopping at “Dirt Cheap” – yes it really exists…

“But we’re going to owe him an unspecified favor.”

He knows where Jimmy Hoffa is, but I’m afraid to ask

That’s a nice toaster you have there….be a shame if something happened to it…

Isn’t that Amazon-ing?

Ask Lard A** 45, he knows a few!

Gives a different meaning to the term “chop shop”.

Question a Trump Disciple never contemplates:

Why did only Michael Cohen go to jail, when it was Trump who signed the checks?

You guys are probably too young to remember… Dishonest John’s business card “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap”

Who takes a toaster to be repaired these days? I haven’t seen an appliance repair shop in a very long time.

And my mother-in-law problem, too! \=^)

At least until Lake Mead fully dehydrates.

Could do this with Talkie Toaster. All he asks you is if you want bread related products.

Ask him about the guy down the street who doesn’t clean up after his dog.

I read where they found a 4th body in Lake Mead. I’d be willing to bet there are some old timers in Las Vegas “Is that all they found?”

You want I should take it to the river boss?

It’s like magic, where all kinds of things disappear!

I never had a toaster with broken knees before.