That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 20, 2022

The hard part was carrying grandma to bed.

/// Anja dozed when her granddaughter read.

Fast asleep in her chair, not in bed.

Clara’s voice is so boring

it makes Granny start snoring.

Clara then takes the big bed instead.

“Ooh, Granny. This book is pretty raunchy! Is it ok that I’m reading it?” “It’s ok Deary, it’s my diary”

FYI, that’s a Finnish stove in the background.

Gertrud took this opportunity to steal some of the good silverware.

Like many successful business people of her generation, Granny liked having her granddaughter read her the accounting ledger as she relaxed.

“Great, Grandma is finally falling asleep and the bars are still open.”

Really, Gran! I can’t believe YOU wrote this in your diary when you were 17! You even managed to make ME blush . And that’s saying something, as I’ve been feeding us both with my Onlyfans and Insta accounts for 5 years already.

Jokes aside, this looks like an illustration for Johanna Spyri’s “Heidi” where she sits and reads hymns for the blind grandmother on the Alm. In those days it was common for kids to recite the words of hymns rather than sing them. I guess it was a way of making them learn the words.

There’s nothing that quite so quickens/

Granny’s pulse, as a reading from Dickens !/

By excitement she’s stricken/

And her snores seem to thicken/

And she dreams that she’s doing “the Chicken”…///

Were she conscious, she’d give you a lickin’/

A serious, royal ass-Kickin’/

But she’s now fast asleep/

So it’s wise just to keep/

On readin’-(with a bit of nose-pickin’)…

The look of shame said it all. This WAS her grandmother’s collection of nude selfies.

Once a week Lila would sit with Grandma and translate the porn stories to Austrian for her

“Great manuscript, Gran. You spin quite a yarn.”

What do you think of my new play, Granny? I call it “Romeo and Juliet”, and cousin Will is going to produce it at the Globe Theatre next month.

Yes Nana sleep deep and long. Eric is upstairs waiting for me…I hope!

I have, against my better judgement, seen a small number of clips of that trial. Though I think a better appellation of that affair would be “carnival of failure”.

I guess I put too much bourbon in her Mint Julep tonight.

“And then Little Red Riding Hood said, ‘my what big eyes you have’. Are you sure you want me to re-read this to you again?”

“Grrrrrr…”

“OK. ’The better to see you with, my dear…

“You know, your hit list is getting pretty long, Godmother.”

“‘And he unlaced her bodice, freeing her heaving bosom’…Are you falling asleep? Seriously!”

If you don’t stop getting exhausted from your fits, I’ll have to stop reading this “Fifty Shades of Grey”!

“When Jo March read to her rich old granny, she did it in hopes of getting dough to go to France. I’m gonna need more than that…if you don’t wanna worry about what else might be in your tea.”

In the Parlour: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:Rosa Schweninger In der Stube.jpg" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and chose the first File: link found for info and links that point to more info about this roughly US letter size, oil on panel painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2929 (May 20, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to some info about this artist. First work by her used here.

Granny June is being read a list of past boyfriends but is nodding off because she doesn’t remember many of them. she only had a few she really liked enough to have sex with.

I thought you were teasin’ me gramma! You being a centerfold and all … with pictures to prove it! Your likes and dislikes are … quite interesting.

“Frankly, Grandma, this anthology of limericks simply sucks.”“I know, dear- but they’re so delightfully obscene..”

The big bed lies under a canopy/

And a startling array- nay – a panoply/

Of demonic devices/

Designed to please vices/

To which Granny once catered Satanically…///

That bed was the source of a portion/

(I assure you that ain’t a distortion !)/

Via dear granny’s labors,/

(To the ire of the neighbors)/

Of the Schveninger family fortune!

While her daughter reads, patiently sitting,

Gramma’s fallen asleep at her knitting.

But, unknown to their friends

Gram knits her own Depends™

And her daughter hopes Gram won’t start --ting.

Far be it from me to complain/

If Granny is given to pain./

Though there’s just no predicting/

If enjoying or inflicting/

Is the essence of Granny’s domain..

I don’t know Granny (Heaven be thanked!)/

By my parents alone I’ve been spanked./

But I’m told this of Granny:/

Her “range” is uncanny./

In perversion she’s never outflanked.

She’s quite forthright- despises skulduggery-/

She refuses to stoop to thuggery/

In short, she’s a dear../

But cover your rear:/

Her big bodyguard’s crazy for buggery.