Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 14, 2022

Hello, Ripley’s fans. I recently told a tale from National Breast (Cancer) Awareness Month. The following short joke is in honor of National Attention Deficit We

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”

As Porky would have said, That’s All, Folks!

And blockhead is a name Lucy has been known to call Charlie Brown in Peanuts.

May the Lord be with you.

Slime in general is a pretty incredible substance. Hagfish slime also has unusual properties, and spider silk starts out as a slimelike fluid.

that French library sounds like something Charlie Brown would go to at the suggestion of Lucy van Pelt

Whoever tested snails and slugs by making them climb over razor blades are a buncha weirdos.

A cannibal was stewing a marine biologist. His wife came in the kitchen and said “You’re making dinner? There’s something fishy going on here.”

I’ll bet unicycle hockey players spent more time in the hospital than on the field.

That’s some library.

Well, snails have captured the imagination of the RBION crowd today, so let’s try a snail joke.

A woman is preparing a French dinner for her parents and sends her husband out to buy some fresh snails.

The husband buys the snails then pops into the pub for a quick drink. One thing leads to another and he stays for a few rounds, so many in fact, that by the time he leaves it’s nine in the evening. Realizing he’s extremely late the husband runs home, pours the snails over the path leading to his house, then he rings the bell.

His furious wife opens the door. “Where the heck have you been?” she screams. The husband waves back to the snails, “Come on, lads!” he shouts “We’re nearly there!”.

It’s a little slow. Until next time.

Can you imagine if Carnegie had all his libraries built like that?

Le Tete Carree Library in Not So Nice, France, is shaped like Charlie Brown. Told to me by a friend. Named Lucy.

Shaped like a giant politician.

Take care, may aspiring Emperor Donald “Who Needs Gourmet When We have Whoppers And Chicken Buckets” Trumpord be with you, and gesundheit.

Ew. Who wants to use a slimy razor blade?

No comments about General Kurtz Apocalypses Now : “I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That’s my dream; that’s my nightmare.”

How does one slightly deflate a tennis ball? It’s not really inflated to begin with.

my mucus is so slimy i can crawl over 2 razor blades

I’m pretty sure unicycle hockey started as a bet between two drunken frat guys.

Where is the library’s entrance … and exit?

I’ll bet those unicycle hockey players keep the emergency rooms hopping!

…but then the snail doesn’t have to shave for a week!

Segway hockey is more fun than unicycle hockey

I’m wondering if the architect of the library was making a joke about nerds.

From the movie Apocalypse Now. Colonel Kurtz’s dream.

Unicycle hockey - since at least 1960!

Hmm. How do you slightly deflate a tennis ball? For that matter, how do you pump up a tennis ball?

And while we’re at it, do they slightly deflate their unicycle wheels too?