Close to Home by John McPherson for August 28, 2020

To hell with world hunger and climate change. If you can’t get me out of my gym membership can you a least make me rich and famous.

Don’t even ask about the timeshare.

Win, win, win. End hunger, and climate change, and make me get in shape. Can’t beat that LOL Even Bleeb thinks it’s a good deal.

Not considering how complicated it is to get out of Facebook .

Just try explaining women to him; the gym membership is a snap in comparison.

He could ask for a cure for covid, but he looks like the type that likes staying indoors alone

Haven’t seen one of those undershirts in quite a while. Very becoming!

“Let me see that map of the Middle East again.”

I have no hope. …sigh

It must be February. Christmas gift membership, new jogging outfit, New Year’s resolution, and went to the gym once.

Be careful what you wish for: End hunger, end global warming, peace in the Middle East.

Easy-peasy wipe out humanity… done!

an acre or two of zucchini would solve world hunger…and “climate change” as man-made is faux science!

“Well then there Blue, if you can’t get me out my gym membership, then where’s my pizza and beer? I haven’t drunked so much that I’m drink! Have another beer, then it’s back into the bottle with your blue butt! Your bottle… not that empty beer bottle! By the way, I’m still waiting on that pizza and beer. I always wanted to ask you sump’n ‘ner, ol’ blue. If you can do anything you want…why the heck are you still blue? Heeheehee-hoo! I ain’t feelin’ so good, I think I might have actually overdone it just a leeeeeeeetle bit. Yo! Blue! Don’t step on that weird little yellow alien bug lookin’ thing, cause I ain’t cleanin’ that up!”

Can anyone tell me what the little creatures with the antennae are called? My brother asked me and I don’t know.

Why not just be filthy rich?

I have the sense this guy already has three other wishes lined up.

Another ball of whacks alright!

I wish that you looked like the blonde in the television series.

Flagrantly violate the gym rules or general social norms. If you’re lucky, they will even refund you a month or two when they kick you out.

If you’re tired of being fat and ugly, join a gym and just be ugly.