Tom Toles for August 02, 2020

He made up an excuse about not being able to throw out the first pitch because he’s afraid to get booed worse than Rudy Giuliani!

Nah, we now know that the Trump team, headed by Jared Kushner (when Putin wanted to buy a U.S. president, he went to Jared), knew exactly what to do and formulated a plan early. They did not “miss” the ball, they booted it intentionally; they took a dive; they threw the games to an extent that would shame even the Chicago Black Sox of 1919.

But when Jared learned that it was the blue states being hit the hardest in those early days, he decided to sacrifice the states that would never vote for Trump and then blame it on the Democratic governors.

Now that it is hitting the red states and has backfired, once again Jared turns out to be less brilliant than advertised.

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/07/how-jared-kushners-secret-testing-plan-went-poof-into-thin-air

FAILING PяesiDunce Tяцmp☠ possesses the vigorous intellect, the clear-eyed vision, and the charismatic leadership skills of a chicken with its head cut off. (Chickens have been known to live, on occasion, for several days sans head. Our PяesiDunce seems intent on extending that record…) Moreover, it’s likewise evident that his cult followers, most notably those in Congress, possess the cerebral propensities of pithed frogs, all reflex and nothing else.

In regards to the Orange Buffoon and the Baby Buffoon Forrest Gump would have to change it to, “Scum is as scum does.

It seems that the Prez, while making a PITCH for the support of his BASE, has RUN AFOUL of Medical Science:

It seems the virus will STRIKE in many locations, and we will have to watch the SLIDER on death counts rise.

Even MITT Romney thought Trump’s ideas were a MOUND of horse-hockey.

What Americans need is to see this RUNNER from responsibility THROWN OUT.

P.S. Carlin’s skit of Baseball vs Football is a masterwork of comedy and should be heard at least once by everyone……

He is used to much, much smaller balls. His tiny hands can’t handle anything bigger.

The only time Trump puts on a glove is to keep his DNA off the taxpayer’s money he’s stolen since being President. He doesn’t know how to play ball.

He Drops the Ball – {1.20 limericks}

He drops the Covid ball,

and the economy slows to a crawl.

He’s Neanderthal

with talent small,

not worth very much at all, -

- so Biden as prez let’s install.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This piece treats the difficulties of our repairing Trumpismo’s damage:https://www.rawstory.com/2020/08/how-do-we-de-trumpify-america/

(Take-off from “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” Norworth / Von Tilzer — 1908)

”Fake Them Out With a Ballgame”

VERSE 1:

Donald Trump was getting so mad,

Covid-emic had gotten bad,

Diversion needed right away

(So he once more golf could play),

His VP, by name of Pence,

Suggested he go hither, hence

A baseball pitch he should throw —

And so that’s where Donald said said he’d go:

.

REFRAIN:

“Take me out to some ballgame,

Doesn’t matter much where,

Just make it firmly a friendly state,

Where my poll numbers are still doing great.

Let’s pass the buck on the virus,

See do see WHO it is we can shame;

For there’s one, two, three things from which

I need to shed the blame.”

.

VERSE 2:

Donald’s not really a fan,

But does whatever he can

To keep problems off of his back,

Diverting attention’s ever his knack.

If he succeeds doing that here,

His MAGAs would stand up and cheer,

His re-election would be clear,

Turn him virus versa from attack.

.

(REFRAIN …)

VERSE 3:

Economy woes are more bad news,

The BLM marches refuse to defuse,

Voodoo demon ghosts, to his chagrin,

Seem to deepen the swamp he is in.

Russia, his taxes, and voting by mail,

Have the Fake News right on his tail.

And many in Congress have pleaded,

More Treasury checks are needed!

(REFRAIN …)

(END)

MAGOO! Love it!

Why are so many picking on him? He’s doing his best! Oh. Wait …

If there ever was a real life version of Jabba the Hut, Trump is it. Who knows, maybe Trump was the inspiration for George Lucas to come up with that character.

Trump did not cause the pandemic to start, but he is the one responsible for the massive failure to respond to the dangers of a pandemic. And I will forever hold the Republican Party and enablers for the destruction of the economy and the awfulness of the shutdown and its aftermath. And, the Senate going home before the July 31 ending of support for those who have lost their jobs due to the shutdown. I hope people remember in November, that the Republicans are all about conserving wealth and power and nothing else. Vote blue 2020.

Who knew ignoring the pandemic would take the economy? /s

Trump’s handling of the Covid pandemic: an unforced error.

Yes, little guy in the corner, it’s waaaay past time.

Washington state got the covid first, the Jared decided not to test because we are a blue state. Jared did a crime against humanity for his petty political revenge.

The greedy lying denying racist republicans are doing everything they can to destroy the USA and help Putin. Our troops are being withdrawn from Germany at Putin’s request.

Not so fast. Didn’t the Governors decide what to do in their State?

I know MaGoo. MaGoo was funny. This magoo ISN’T funny. He’s dangerous!

{Off-topic:}

Bah, Nah, Yah – {Q ’n’ A}

Q: Can you spell “banana” without an “n”?

A: “Baaa” {pronounced “bah”}.

… …

Q: Can you think of Trump without chagrin?

A: Naaa {pronounced “nah”}.

… …

Q: You’ll be voting for Biden, then?

A: Yaaa {pronounced “darn tootin’ “}, -

- tho’ I ‘druther have Bernie win

{for a progressive platform I’m rootin’}.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After missing it and throwing it where he hopes he can hide it, Trump will then claim he made a miraculous catch “like nobody’s ever seen”, then will claim that it didn’t exist except as a “Democrat hoax”…

Here’s an itemization that Trump is no bueno: https://www.salon.com/2020/08/01/everything-we-suspected-about-donald-trump-has-come-true/

1945 Aug. 6: Hiroshima

1945 Aug. 9: Nagasaki

Wikipedia: “Over the next two to four months, the acute effects of the atomic bombings killed between 90,000 and 146,000 people in Hiroshima and 39,000 and 80,000 people in Nagasaki; roughly half of the deaths in each city occurred on the first day.”

US coronavirus deaths as of 2020-08-02: 157,935

{Off-topic:}

Tricks Up his Sleeve – a {limerick}

The Donald has tricks up his sleeve

so the White House he needn’t leave

’though voters vote

his arse to demote.

From his wiles we want a reprieve.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Noam Chomsky explains: √ that “decades of neoliberal policies that shredded the social safety net…left the country ill-prepared for a major health crisis,” … and √ that “we are racing madly towards total catastrophe under the leadership of sociopathic fanatics”. – interview’s text and 20-minute video at https://www.democracynow.org/2020/7/30/noam_chomsky_coronavirus_trump_response

{Off-topic:}

Why Do Folks Buy It? – {limerick}

Trumpism’s ill-starred history

baffles our minds with this mystery: -

- Why oh why

do so many folks buy

these BS-artists’ sophistry?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Uh-oh. Have the guys in the black Suburban come for Toles?

I wish Jared would go “poof into thin air”…