Tom Toles for March 18, 2020

He’s always Perfect! /s

I think he face-plants so much that he should just stay there.

Setting the standard for epic fails everywhere.

He’s lowered the bar so often I have to go to a cellar bar to get a drink.

Sorta like all the 100-1000yr floods we’ve been having.

How many does this make?

Flattening the curve!

His face IS a plant. A pumpkin, obviously.

If it was an Olympic event the US would have a winner if the resident competed.

Be Best!

B I D E N Is going to K I C K His A $ $!

So, was this before or AFTER he tried to LIE and claim that he knew that it was a Pandemic ALL ALONG??

Epic failures caused by incompetence and stupidity in the face of the facts will now be known as a Trump.

He knew the pandemic was coming so long ago he asked for social distancing at his inauguration.

An Imitation of “Pick Yourself Up”

(Very sincere apologies to Dorothy Field and Jerome Kern)

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“Trump Talks Himself Up”

Nothing can injure me, I have found,

Although my chin has smacked the ground.

I talk myself up,

Praise what I’ve done,

Start all over again.

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If I was judged upon the things I’ve done,

At least double digits I’d have won.

I cheat when I can,

Ignore all the rules,

Yet get a gold medal again.

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Don’t get less arrogant, proven wrong,

Just claim to have been right all along.

I talk really slick,

Blame someone else,

Rant all over again.

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(All the men I have fired,

Trying to find just the ideal ones

Who agree I’m inspired —

But not dumb like my sons.)

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This whole pandemic makes me look bad,

Worst situation I’ve ever had.

But I’ll talk myself clear,

Blame Democrats,

And stir up the MAGAS again.

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There’s a multitude of famous men

Who screwed things up, then rose again.

I’ll talk myself up,

Lie like a rug,

Go on Fox News,

Blame someone else,

Win all over again!

The sad part is his cult thinks he is doing great.

Of Course Jared Kushner Told Trump the Coronavirus Was Fake News

Vanity Fair 22 hours ago

Actually, it’s a novel idea that should be considered by the Olympic Committee. Let’s let the athletes score their own events. I mean, what do those judges know? “Okay, I fell off the balance beam and dislocated my shoulder and got a compound fracture of my femur. That ought to be worth at least a 9.7, huh? I’d give myself a 10, but the concussion protocol came back negative."

No matter what you believe, or what turns out to be the actual situation , Trump has videotape of his announcement of that exact scenario, weeks to months before it happened. And, that is all his all his followers will notice.

The Democrats should just piece together a montage of all the things Disaster Pumpkin said about “no big deal, don’t worry, I’ve got this, everything’s under control, it’ll all blow over by next week”, etc. and run it in a continuous loop during the entire month of October.

“But enough about me! How well do you think I’m handling this?”

And.. with Idiot Orange in that position, he is in perfect position for his cabinet to get their daily face plant in.

Margaret Atwood summed it all up decades ago: “Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results.”

Well, you know, I’ve long said I’d happily give back all of my stock market gains from over the last 3+ years just to rid of PяesiDuиce Pumpkin Disaster. Looks like I’m getting my wish, with interest. I should be happy, I suppose, but I’m not, nor are we rid of him yet, either…

“Do you mind if I change my mind about changing my mind about minding my changes? And I was right the FIRST ten times!”

Talk about face plants, market down another 2,000 points after Trump’s last conference today.

When Obama left office the Dow was at 19,804, right now the Dow is at 19,182

The insane Trump Republican administration is leaving the USA sick, broke, crippled and out of work.

I watched the White House “state of the pandemic” update just before Noon today. The press people seemed emboldened by Trump’s vulnerability during this crisis. They asked several questions that he clearly did not like. His scowl became deeper and deeper, but he didn’t lash out except for one question.

Several questions related to his use of the term “China Virus.” He stuck to his continued use of that one, but let’s see if he doesn’t backtrack in a few days. If he does, might it be a sign that Li’l Donnie is growing up? Naaaaw…

By the way, I don’t feel quite right to be continually dumping on a U.S. president this way. But Trump is a danger, I believe, who has to be constantly called out. And does anyone entirely rule out the possibility that, because of this pandemic, he will postpone the election or close down election facilities that just happen to be in Democratic Party areas?

What about the fact that he keeps trying to blame Obama? Or the fact that he fired the pandemic people in the CDC?

I miss Old_Curmudgeon.