Tom Toles for February 14, 2020

I was pretty much flabbergasted when Barr mentioned that that incessant tweeting and talking was making his job impossible. In fact, belay that “pretty much”. I’m flabbergasted.

I guess they figure there’s no reason to limit poison to the environment.

I wonder how long it will be before this perfect AG will be gone?

When does he pump in the Xyclon B.

The asylum has been taken over…

VOTE BLUE 2020!!

Barr the Bartender – {2 beats/phrase, then 3}

Bill the bartender // is a big-time offender

as Trump’s defender, // who seeks to engender

authoritarian rule // which is run by Putin’s tool, -

- a sociopathic fool // with the style of a very cruel ghoul.

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I watched some of the Barr interview last night, as given by Pierre Thomas on ABC. I am happy to write that my TV screen (narrowly) survived my expletive-filled verbal shock wave. What an insincere performance by Barr, with his forlorn puppy-dog eyes.

I know this is esoteric: Barr reminds me of “Droopy Dog,” an MGM cartoon character that first appeared in a 1940s Tex Avery cartoon. “Droopy” was a sort of Bassett Hound, with a droll, deadpan voice, similar to Barr’s. The cartoon, however, was drawn to have more moral character than Barr seems to have.

The voice actor was William H. Thompson, who was also in the cast of the radio show “Fibber McGee and Molly” as Wallace Wimple. As Droopy Dog was drawn to resemble Thompson, a photo in Thompson’s Wikipedia bio shows that he somewhat resembled William Barr. If you have nothing better to do, look it up.

By the way, this critical information will be on a future quiz. (—

Golly, what do you expect when your mission is turning a government of the people, by the people and for the people into an exclusive uneducated white pseudo-Christian fascistsociety?

An imitation of “Alice’s Restaurant”

(Apology to Arlo Guthrie)

.

“William’s Bar and Restaurant”

You can get anything you want at William’s Bar & Restaurant.

(‘Specially Malice)

You can get anything you want at William’s Bar & Restaurant.

Stroll right in, it’s run by hacks,

The information’s false, none is facts.

You can get anything you want at William’s Bar & Restaurant.

.

You can get any poison you want … etc.

You an get any type you want … etc.

The selection is wide, you’ll be glad to hear,

It’s ready to pour right in your ear.

You can get the rumor poison you want … etc.

.

You can be tricked any way you want … etc.

“Red Plate” Specials for fools to want … etc.

Our ‘sperienced cooks Giuliani and Stone

Have served countless falsehoods this year alone.

You’ll be bamboozled any way we want … etc.

His weird comments on how he is independent of Trump are garbage. Actions speak louder than words. All you have to do is look at what he does.

A Proverb for Trump’s Targets – {3 beats/line}

Tho’ the prez might mistreat thee quite cruelly

in his ways quite unduly unruly, -

- back ye not down from this bully.

Resist thou him fiercely and fully.

… Coda: – {2 beats/phrase}

And keep ye quite far // from the AG Bill Barr.

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Methinks he doth protest too much.

Barr’s remarks were a head slapper but the head I wanted to slap was Wolf Blizter’s. He asked ‘have you ever seen anything like this’ so often I thought I was having another stroke. His ‘happening now’ is becoming happening again and again and again…

An interview with Mister Barr/ (a man whom they ought to DIS-bar)/ makes one want to scream/ (it’s a true “fever-dream”)/ and it stinks like a cheap cigar !

Poison is Poison but at least it’s a choice of poison.

As is true for the Orange Buffoon history will not remember Billy the Crud kindly. Maybe he spent too much time at the bar the other day.

Trump’s tweets make Barr’s abuse of justice to serve Trump too obvious. Barr has no integrity but he does have political instincts.

David Frum, writing back in 2017:

What has happened in Hungary since 2010 offers an example — and a blueprint for would-be strongmen. Hungary is a member state of the European Union and a signatory of the European Convention on Human Rights. It has elections and uncensored internet. Yet Hungary is ceasing to be a free country.

The transition has been nonviolent, often not even very dramatic. Opponents of the regime are not murdered or imprisoned, although many are harassed with building inspections and tax audits. If they work for the government, or for a company susceptible to government pressure, they risk their jobs by speaking out. Nonetheless, they are free to emigrate anytime they like. Those with money can even take it with them. Day in and day out, the regime works more through inducements than through intimidation. The courts are packed, and forgiving of the regime’s allies. Friends of the government win state contracts at high prices and borrow on easy terms from the central bank. Those on the inside grow rich by favoritism; those on the outside suffer from the general deterioration of the economy. As one shrewd observer told me on a recent visit, “The benefit of controlling a modern state is less the power to persecute the innocent, more the power to protect the guilty.”

Pretty much the blue print whether Trump or Brexit.

Say what you will about the gang at the top of the current Administration’s dungheap — I sure do! — but you gotta admit that their physiognomies are a positive joy for political cartoonists.

{Off-topic:}

Barr’s Shabby Legacy – {3 beats/line, then 2}

Barr to oblivion is headed,

with his legacy raggedly shredded: -

- His career is deeply embedded

in The Donald to whom it is wedded, …

… so as All the Trumpsters have dreaded:

the King has his servants beheaded

for the slightest infraction

of the King’s satisfaction.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Barr hopes future fame

Will soft-pedal his tame

Acceptance of treasonous bilgeshot

Yet we who are here

In rank atmosphere

Are hoping he soon has a blood clot!

[I know Kip W. can’t forgive this but I couldn’t resist……..]

Whatever you think of us is totally irrelevant, Both to us now and to you

We are the present, We are the future, You are the past

Pay your dues and get outta the way

‘Cause we’re not the way you used to be, When you were very young

We’re something new, We don’t quite know what it is

Callin’ for acid cocaine and grass, And receiving your homemade gin

.

Jefferson Starship (Amerikon)

{Off-topic:}

Fie on the Trumpistas – {4 beats/line}

Drat!! and Fie!! and Dangit dadGummit!!

Headlong our nation continues to plummet!!

The Trumpites stand on Mount Idiocy’s summit,

misruling our nation as down they dumb it!!

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{Off-topic:}

Deceptive Speech – {limerick}

A lackey’s deceptive speech

is to mop up and whitewash and bleach

the Führer’s mistakes; -

- whatever it takes

to extend Der Donald’s reach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

{Off-topic:}

A Worsening Curse – {limerick}

A tune that we often rehearse

treats Trump as yuugely a curse

{to our interests adverse}, -

- and it’s getting worse

as we sing the “same song’s umpteenth verse”.

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