Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 04, 2020

2B or not quite 2B.

Gate 2B ………… or not 2B.

TSA strikes again

Reminds me of those jokes that show Santa plastered to the nose of an airplane: Funny, but not realistic.

Why is it that first class gets the best entertainment?

Bob did a tom Cruise!

Now he needs that little sign that says, “YIKES!”, as he has a bit of a fall coming.

Nearly had that happen to me.

Yeah, I have seen those guys. I sort of get them, what I can’t get is the number of people who decide we must all wait until little Lord Tardy gets there.

He could just jump on to the roller coaster.

2B or not 2B?

Boy, we sure got a truckload of Shakespeare fans here today.

Don’t forget…State of the Union tonight…always a good time.

Count how many times the dope forgets what he’s saying, in mid- sentence.

many years ago I was catching a flight from London to NYC. the flight was supposed to take off at 6pm but due to delays it didn’t start loading until past midnight. I was so tired when I got on board I walked in the door, across the plane, and out the other side into the catering truck that was loading food. I looked at them, they looked at me, and I got back into the plane. Interesting to see how it was done though.

“Missed it by that much…”

15 years ago I worked as a Ramp Agent for a major carrier. I, along with my coworkers, would secretly chuckle at the people we would see banging on the terminal windows begging us to stop while we were pushing the aircraft back from the gate. Right. There is no way in Hades we are going to inconvenience the 180 passengers who were on time, (or face the penalty from the FAA for a late departure)

It’s funny how humor and tragedy is the same. All that is funny is someone’s tragedy. And all tragedy is someone’s humor. Think about any joke that you know.

Gate 2B or not 2B that is the question.

Actually, this happened to me with a train leaving Novosibirsk. The hatch was closed but some huge guys opened it up and hauled me in as I was running along.

Mrs. Baker is the Queen of arriving at the plane barely in the nick of time.

Drives me bonkers.

Reminds me of George Carlin: Get on the plane, get on the plane! FU I’m getting IN the plane!!! I don’t want a non-stop flight. I insist my flight end, preferably at the end of my flight!!!

You can hop a train, but………

I’m sure something similar, though less dramatic, has happened to most of us…

For me it was in the early 80’s when I arrived early for a flight home after a TDY. With time on my hands I sat down at a bar and had a beer while I perused some source code (FORTAN IV don’tchya know) that I was taking back to the shop (along with some 2400’ 9-track tapes). I got quite engrossed with the code and never heard my flight called. I just happened to check the time, realized I was now late and dashed for the gate, only to find it empty and the door closed. The plane was gone but I was lucky enough to catch the next flight going the same way, so not a complete disaster.

Just dropped my Sweetie off at the airport for his vay-cay to Arizona! Luckily he was on time!

Maybe he went to the wrong gate. Is it 2B or not 2B?

I wonder if a William Shatner-type individual, recently recovered fro a breakdown, will notice someone outside the airliner.

Tell the Gate Agent you need a standby on the next flight Right Away or they will try tp pretend it never happened.

Or that it was somehow Your fault the plane left On Time.

For the first time Ever.

The associates of an old boss of mine always delighted telling the story of the time they were on the same flight as he to a conference, but my boss was running late and missed boarding. They were unanimously amazed when the plane, which had pulled away from the gate and started to taxi, actually returned to pick him up.

This is plane silly, but, delightful!

I once heard a true story from a man who was trying to get a plane to head to an important meeting in NYC. He was running late, and the plane door was shut. “Sir, once the door is shut, it can’t be opened.” “What is this, the ark of Noah?!” “Sorry, sir. We can’t open the door. I’ll schedule you for the next flight.” He was frustrated, but had no choice but to wait. During the wait, he saw the news—the plane he’d almost boarded crashed into one of the Twin Towers.