Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for October 12, 2019

Hope he ain’t playing soccer.

I met a pirate with a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch

I asked him “What happened to your leg?”

“Arr,” he responded, “One day I was in a battle at sea and a cannon ball blew my leg right off.

“That sounds awful. What happened to your hand?”

“Arr, one day at sea I was knocked off the ship into shark infested waters and a great white bit my hand right off.

“That sounds terrible. What happened to your eye?”

“Arr, one day I was near port and a ton of seagulls were flying overhead. When I looked up into the sky, one of them pooped and it landed right in my eye.”

“And that took your eye out?”

“Arr, it was the first day with the hook.”

Be great at a bar. Hook it under the foot rail and you’ll never falloff your stool.

He’s turned the eye patch into a cup holder. Perfect for seamen.

I’m impressed by the force field holding that hook in position so he can stand on it.

Watch ‘Black Sails.’ It’s Breaking Bad with pirates!

The Jolly Roger is looking at you sidewise.

You’ll get no arrrggg-ument from me.

So, the eye patch is now a thong…Good fashion!

Is that some kind of yoga pose? Downward Pirate?

Lucky for us he remembered to put his pants on.

Could be a knee-jerk reaction.

Depends on what is on his agenda for the day.. Fishing would be good, a quick snag with the hook then club them

Shouldn’t there be something on his eye which he was supposed to wear where his eyepatch is now?

“Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum? Well, it has possibilities, but it needs a hook.”

Q: What did Captain Hook die from?" A: “Jock itch…”

Beavis and Butt-head once wore eye patches as jockstraps. Boy, were they mortified when Daria took a picture for the school paper.

Loved it, do you mind if I purloined it for myself?