Pickles by Brian Crane for October 09, 2019

I hope he’s ready – it shouldn’t be long, now.

I think Opal will more likely donate your laundry, Earl, to Deseret industries (the Latter-day Saint equivalent to Goodwill thrift stores, people).

Old people talking about death always gets a bit creepy for me.

Or burn….

I am planning to check out first, and my spouse may then do as she damn well pleases, including grieve or party. Or both. I’ll neither know nor care… and the kids can come to their own conclusions.

Earl you are so full of yourself you might explode !

My wife has a lovely garden.

I asked that my ashes be scattered there.

Her response was “Ugh!”

But she doesn’t mind the dog’s poop there.

Her statement; “Good fertilizer”

Now I know where I stand……

“When I die I hope it’s peacefully, in my sleep… like grandpa. And not like the other people in the plane he was flyin’”

I’m 44 and from a rather large family (four sisters and a brother). This past year, my brother passed on due to heart disease, my uncle passed on from smoking, and my mother passed on from dementia. Oh, and all these deaths happened within six days from each another. My second eldest sister passed away three weeks ago after a long fight (over 15 years) with breast cancer. My wife and I moved down from Virginia to be with family a little over five years ago because I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer (GBM). We had put off the inevitable until we decided (as a family) that we NEEDED to put our affairs in order. After our sister passed away a few weeks back, we (as a family) went to the funeral home and made all our arrangements. I sat down with a cousin, who is a lawyer, and we put each of my life insurances in a trust for my wife and daughter. Don’t be afraid to talk about this, you’ll spare your family much grief (and a lot of money) when your time comes up.

BTW, a normal funeral costs about the same as new SUV.

Earl has been reading the book “How To Make Sure Your Spouse Won’t Miss You When You’re Gone”, and clearly grasps its major tenets

Earl is very talkative today! Must be thinking about his demise and Opal is listening intently….but wait! Tomorrow she’ll have plenty to say….

My older friend said about cremation “Why burn twice?”.

“Assuming”? with the way things go for you, Earl, that you can pretty well assume that you will!

Geez, Earl, you’re such an old softie. . .wonder if Opal will be able to stand the clean fresh aroma after she’s found and washed all your clothes. . .

I wonder if that’s just Earl’s stratagem to make it easier for her.

I just want to know where I’m going to die. Then I won’t go there.

In the first panel, shouldn’t Earl say “your” loss?

in her mind you are all ready gone…………

When you wake up on a 40 year old mattress, you feel like death is in the neighborhood if not at the door. It will be on your mind and in your thoughts. There are reasons people spend thousands on a sleep system.

She’s been over him for years. Shouldn’t take too long.

My wife loves the fact that I frequently buy her flowers – no reason, just ‘cause I love her. She says that she wants to have flowers when she’s around to enjoy them, not after she’s dead and can’t!

Earl? You be dead in 20 minutes, you keep talking like that.

You are talking too much and she is holding a couple knitting needles. Better change the subject.

My father once told me, “When I die, you’ll have to take care of your mother.”

I replied, “No way, you gotta take her with you!”

nobody gets out alive

She’s going to miss you?

I doubt she’ll be able to smell his dirty laundry from Las Vegas…

I believe the last part just might shorten the grieving process.

Earl – I would stop now while Opal still has a fond memory of you. Saying she can sniff your dirty laundry will not help her think fondly of you when you are gone.

I want to be buried in a 1937 Bugatti Type 57 Atalante. So, … if you´ll all chip in and buy it for me, now, so I can test drive it for a few years, first…

With no pupils she won’t see them anyway. She could sing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJRvpXglB30

The dirty laundry would be the fuel for the funeral pyre….

In the process of moving states, my mom took care of 4 of my cats for just over a year (it took way longer than anticipated to get into the new house, and I couldn’t take 5 cats and a dog with us to stay in an apartment). I used to mail packages of dirty socks for her to share with the cats – don’t know exactly why but they loved them. Obviously because they smelled like momma and poppa, but why they all love the smell of our feet in particular, I have no idea.

She says they were all much calmer and less antagonistic toward each other with our socks around to sniff – I suppose they could tell that we were alive and well and maybe even how much we missed them. So every month or so, I’d send her some new dirty socks to share with the crew, and she’d send back the old set. The things we do for our cats, right?

Should’a stopped at the third panel, Earl. :)

I’d burn it and be done with it. I hate long goodby’s

Roscoe will sniff. Opal, on the other hand… I don’t think so. :D

My dad would have loved this. He was 93. He passed last night.