Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 24, 2018

Or get a second bathroom.

The basement’s actually pretty good for that, but stay the heck outta the attic.

Pig, you should go bathe with strangers at that thing… The Public Pool?

Don’t you have to surf on something that floats?

He should raise the flapper so the water is always running, he would stay cooler all the time. Of course it wouldn’t help with the water bill.

Just lying on the tile would be a big help, especially if it’s ceramic.

And a new toilet now that Pig scattered bacon odor in it.

A poor man’s Jacuzzi!

If you’ve been hogging the toilet for too long, all I can say is, “Flush you, Pig!”

A modern pig’s wallow.

“Mud, mud, glorious mud:

Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood!

So follow me, follow,

Down to the hollow,

And there we will wallow in glorious mud."

—Flanders & Swann

A true swamp cooler.

Pig can pretend he’s riding the Log Ride at the local Waterpark now.

Pig’s own personal cool/hot tub, sure hope that back flow preventer is working.

Knowing the habits of pigs, I think sitting in the toilet is probably the best thing for the rest of the house.

What? No beer for Rat?

Um……………..

On to “Peanuts.”

True fact.. sitting in a bucket of cold water so that your genitals are in the water will make the rest of you feel cool as well. An old trick employed by sailors working in the boiler rooms of ships sailing in the tropics.

Run cold water on your wrists.Don’t run cold water over your head,when overheated ;(

For some reason this gave me a flashback to Caddy Shack, Bill Murray, the pool, and a Baby Ruth.

I can’t believe it! 35 comments so far and not one that says, “GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD”

Rat has reservations later —

Flush and it becomes a resistance lap pool

If he flushes, will he end up in the Ministry of Magic?

BTW, why IS it that the bathroom is usually the coolest room in the houses? Not sitting in the toilet, but it is at least 10 degrees cooler in there.

Pig became addicted to swirlies.

How to wash a cat:

Pour shampoo into toilet.

Throw cat into toilet.

Slam lid.

Sit on lid until self-agitation cycle slows.

Flush several times to rinse.

Lift lid and get the heck out’f the way.

Umm. Okay. That is officially disgusting; Pig is even worse than the dog who drinks from the toilet….

No air conditioning?! They obviously don’t live in New Orleans!