Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for September 24, 2017

and they say women can multitask… Luann is still a child after all if you ask me

Ladies and gentlemen, the millennial generation.

Thrilled to see Luann use the vocative comma!

Much ado about relatively little.

Why all the “Warning Labels?”

1) Lawyers

2) Frivolous Lawsuits

3) Juries Who Think, “Well, XYZ Corporation is Worth Billions. They’ll Never MISS a Coupla Million.”

“Do not use microwave oven for drying hair*. Or your poodle.”

.

*Fear not, microwave ovens employ two or three door safety interlock switches so the unit cannot be energized with the door open. If the first switch fails, the “last ditch effort” switch remains closed across the AC input causing the fuse to blow and everything stops.

It’s like we have 2 panels of a comic strip and punchline followed by 2 more panels of comic strip and punchline. There is a strange disconnect.

This comic strip contains 12 nuances.

Some unsettling of comments may occur.

How funny.

The phone is Luann’s business. Nancy should just remind Luann that certain things need doing by whatever time. I’m looking forward to Luann as a big girl with her own place.

“I’ll Sue Ya”, by Weird Al….

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https://youtu.be/7xX5npEROKE

Today’s “Cul de Sac” is a re-run of the very last published of those strips. Petey is reading newspaper comics, and Alice has opinions, speculations, and convictions about one of the strips, and Petey is trying to explain what’s going on there. I swear, it reads like a typical week day installment of this very comment forum.

Lawyers without suits, probably feel naked….

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I’m sure that, somewhere out there, there’s a lawyer who just so happens to not only own a laundromat, but probably also runs an Uber-like hack/sedan service… juat in case you need to take someone to the cleaners, and are looking for a way….

“Throw In The Towel”

“Folded Like A Cheap Suit”

“Playing ‘Tags’ "

“A Cautionary Tale”

“Addition By Distraction”

“The ‘Duh!’ In ‘Dull’ "

“She’s Got ‘Communuicable Fever’ "

“This Is A Fine Message You’ve Gotten Me Into!”

“….But When She Sleeps, You Can Hear Her Chore”

“A Basket Case”

“Too Much Fiber”

“The Wool Of The People”

or

“Caution: Laundering Is A Serious Offense”

I think the most interesting thing in this week’s comment thread is the discussion about whether Gunther is the right friend to help Tiff, vs. those who feel that he triggered her depression. Here are my thoughts.

Tiff has had the world on a silver platter. Her only problem has been over romantic relationships. Maybe she’s been going about it wrong. But if her current overweight is due to depression and binge-eating, it’s definitely over relationships.

I’d agree with SukieCrandall and others that Gunther was not rude the last time he talked to Tiff, and he seemed to be a caring friend. But I think there’s a far darker reality under the surface.

Gunther consciously thinks he wants a relationship. But he’s emotionally terrified of having one, and feels the same about others close to him having one. When Rosa kissed him goodbye in Peru, it went through his body like a shock.

He also has a peculiar attachment to his mother. He was quite upset that she was dating Al Gray. Since then, he’s managed to accept their relationship uncomfortably.

When Tiff took a shine to him a while back, he couldn’t handle it. Rather than get into a real relationship with a pretty girl, he abruptly left her room, saying rather curtly that they were incompatible, and that he was going to pursue Bernice. But Bernice was never drawn to him at all. So again he managed not to have any relationship.

When he saw Les making inroads with Tiff, it upset him even though it was making her happy. And if Les was the wrong guy for her (not a certainty) then she needed to find it out for herself. But when he counseled her, here’s the real message and intent: Gunther’s too good for Tiff. Gunther’s mother is too good for Al Gray. And Tiff’s too good for Les. So Gunther managed to pull Tiff right into his emotional black hole where relationships are something evil, and everyone is too good for them. If she bought into that influence, that explains why she’s feeling dead stopped and depressed.

I understand that a popular desktop picture for lawyers’ computers is the back door of an ambulance.

A farmer was having intestinal problems. His doctor handed him some suppository samples, and told him to come back if he wasn’t improving in three days.

The farmer returned. The doctor asked if he felt better.

He said, “Doc – these things woulda done me just as much good if I had stuck ’em up my a$$!”

Reminds me of the story about a guy who bought a Winnebago. He was driving and engaged the cruise control and went in the back to make a cup of coffee. He crashed, of course. The results in the law suit was that Winnebago had to alter their instructions to inform buyers that cruise control is not auto pilot. He also was awarded a free Winnebago.

This is a Sunday foible set of panels, and that is good. Damn, if GE and company have not made some of us lay in bed thinking about a toon! It hits so close to home though in terms of people we have known and loved going through depression, its scary. As I responded to WIzard, I am hoping the basic optimism of Luannverse will shine into the darkness. Please Greg?

My favorite instruction was “do not turn upside down”. It was on the bottom of the package.

Warm and fuzzy strip today, very good.

What I like about this Sunday strip is that the joke is long and involved. It’s not a one-liner like last week’s mud pack joke was. Secodly (and more importantly) it was very modern, topical humor.

I’ve heard that some chainsaws have a warning that says “do not attempt to stop the chain with your hands or genitals.” What the HELL happened to necessitate that graphically specific warning?

Do people still keep that old tag on the furniture, the one that says “Do not remove this tag under penalty of law”?

On Sundays the mother-daughter dynamic is predictable. Luann will be forever a lazy 14 year old and Nancy an adult disciplinarian.

Superman costumes state “Wearing this garment will not enable the user to fly”. Zippo lighters wisely advise you to “extinguish lighter before returning to pocket”. It’s not the companies who are stupid, its the consumers.

Whatever happened to just letting the gene pool get thinned by stupidity?

I remember a notice on the wall in the post office that said, “Do not send these items in the mail.” One of the items was a can of gasoline. Has anyone ever done that ????

An adult conversation would start like: Nancy: Luann, you are over 18. Do you think you should help defray the cost for room and board, or do you think this is an entitlement? Frank and I think that if you cannot work for this cost, you need to pay half the amount we would charge to rent your room. If neither option is something you can comply with, perhaps college can wait a bit, while you earn some money on your own in a separate living arrangement. P.S. We still love you, just don’t want to nag or parent an adult."

BTW, our newspaper doesn’t do a Monday paper. So they do a Monday_on_Sunday insert, which has the spoiler for Monday’s Luann. Is this true for anyone else here?

Wait, so this college student still needs Mommy to drag her butt out of bed in the mornings to go to school?

I can never do “thumb typing”.

Sigh! Is this really the way the world ends, with a text, not a whimper?