Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 02, 2015

Lawyers aren’t paid by the hour. They simply provide an hourly rate as a convenient way to further confuse their clients. SInce ‘billable hours’ can include everything from returning an email message to taking a nap, explaining how much a particular attorney’s time is worth in units of an hour is just another interesting fiction…

The client won’t be a multimillionaire for long.

It’s a play on the old tax claim joke: “How much you got? Hand it over.”

Another pertinent truth: If the client goes to jail, we may have trouble collecting.

argy, a lot of things are like that. I have a friend who is a project manager/consultant…On his way up North on a Friday, he makes a couple of phone calls to check on people and progress, sometimes a conference call. He’s usually done by noon when he crosses the Mackinac Bridge…….He bills them for full day….But that’s how big business works nowadays…….

Send lawyers, guns, and ammo!

Send lawyers guns and money! The s@#t has it the fan!

Aaron Hernandez should have known about this before he…

first thing we do is kill all the lawyers, or so i’ve heard

One way to dramatically improve the public defenders system would be to require them as the defense on all cases………….

The rich guys usually need a dozen lawyers because they’ve been charged with something outrageously bad, and the evidence overwhelmingly against them. (Yeah, like Aaron Hernandez or Bernie Madoff.)Basically, any ordinary person would plead guilty after the assistant DA explains the evidence. But the rich guys have a 50-50 chance of walking.

In the halls of justice, most of the justice is in the halls-Lenny Bruce.

My law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe have a motto : We’ll represent you in every way, we’ll fight for you all the way, we’ll be on the case every day…just as long as you can pay

Actually this is the jury room!

So whatever the case might be about is generally irrelevant, which makes the law, justice or even an outcome meaningless. And so what is new?

Simpson, we’re going to have to let you go from the firm. You’re billing less than 36 hours a day.

A Defense Lawyer once told me that his job was to get his Clients off no matter their guilt or innocence! I find that just a little disturbing, of course I wasn’t a Client. I was just the Investigating Police Officer.

Maybe he means Trump’s “Mexicans”.

WANTED: Lawyers, many many lawyers, apply within

Rich crooks know that the secret to cutting down their paperwork is that judges and juries take their bribes in lump sums……..

strictures, You betcha, Dude likes strawberry fudge…But he has integrity, he usually only buys it on the Island, which gives him an excuse to go over there…And as long as he’s there, he might as well stop into the Mustang Lounge, for a cocktail, or Horn’s Bar and the Pink Pony…Um, travel expenses….In Mackinaw City, it’s pretty hard to drive by the Keyhole….

1). It’s always open season on lawyers. We don’t want to need open heart surgery either but if we do need it we want the most capable surgeon available to be holding the knife.It’s the law of supply and demand and the same selection process one uses in finding a Dentist or Tattoo Artist.

2). It’s an adversarial system and the job of the defence counsel is to make it as hard as possible for the prosecution to prove it’s case within certain well defined ethical boundaries. “He got off because of a legal loophole” usually means that the prosecution didn’t do its job well and not that the defence bribed the jury.

3). It’s unfair to generalize too much. E.g. Rich people . What we tend to see most are the Hollywood crowd and other egotistical idiots running around like fools on foolish causes (“Save the Red Herring !!!”), living ridiculously self-indulgent lives and changing spouses more often than their socks. We see the great advocates for a clean environment having as large an ecological footprint as the average town. These people are the exception — not the rule.

We can only blame ourselves for media sensationalizing this garbage and for its exposure on TV. Who wants to watch “Life Styles of the Average Rich Person” or “Transgendered People other than Bruce Jenner”?

Why do I take these comments so seriously? Idiot. Get a life.

That strategy results in the Appeal being argued by Another Lawyer basing the Appeal on “Inadequate Representation of Counsel”..

The Rich person’s Defence strategy: If you can’t Dazzle the Jury with a Brilliant Defence, Baffle them with Bullshit.…

A Common “Defence” strategy for wealthy clients is, if they can get at least 8 Men on the jury, make sure the Most Attractive young Female “Associate” in the office shows up every day to assist in the defence.And make sure the Jury gets to see as much as possible of her..At least 7 of those jurors will never hear a single Word the prosecutor says..