Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for April 06, 2019


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  1. Leprechaun
    oldpine52  8 months ago

    The outfit has nothing to do with it.

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    juncarlo  8 months ago

    Right now you need a disappearance spell, Wiz.

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    jasonsnakelover  8 months ago

    Why would she want him to say it did make her look fat?

    Take care and may God bless.

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    Z51 Premium Member 8 months ago

    She knew the answer! She wanted to be lied to!

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    steven01221971  8 months ago

    Thanks for the reminding.

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    LeeCox  8 months ago

    As every man knows, this question is a deathtrap because there is no “right” answer!

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    Mediatech  8 months ago

    As Al Bundy said: “It’s not the dress that makes you look fat, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.”

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    jagedlo  8 months ago

    A right answer given in the wrong way is still a wrong answer!

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    cdward  8 months ago

    An impossible answer to an unfair question.

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    PMark  8 months ago

    I am SO grateful my wife has never asked me this.

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    CallMeMeg  8 months ago

    “No. You make the outfit look fat.”

    Isn’t there a spell that can make that sentence come out as “RUN WAY! I’m going to try to start a fight!”
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    fuzzbucket  8 months ago

    No, but your size does.

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    flemmingo  8 months ago

    That mirror makes you look fat. Quit looking in It!

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    cubswin2016  8 months ago

    You just can’t win sometimes.

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    ptnjbrown  8 months ago

    If he let her finish, she was saying : “Does this outfit make me look far better than other women?”

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    keltii  8 months ago

    she was going to say fantastic, or fabulous.

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    amra_leo  8 months ago

    Timing is everything…

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    mike mcdermid  8 months ago

    I was at Penney’s with my wife when she asked me, “Does this dress make me look fat?” I noted that all activity stopped in the adjoining dressing rooms and it got really quiet. I deadpan replied, “I don’t know, your beauty has struck me blind.” The WHOLE place roared with laughter!! The clerk at nearby register was laughing so hard that she had to stop working and compose herself.

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    Zebrastripes  8 months ago

    Being the wizard, he could always tell the truth and ZAP to another location…..

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    Coinman  8 months ago

    “Never put your spouse in a position where a lie is the only possible response.”

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    micromos  8 months ago

    Never answer yes or no. Say you look great whatever you wear, sweetie!

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    blakerl  8 months ago

    Oh No! now the Wiz will need to join Blanch and Garfield on his new diet. (Ref: see Garfield cartoon)

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 8 months ago

    Maybe to fast, but still better a to fast no that a too fat yes.

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    V45mikky  8 months ago

    I don’t think thinking about it for a couple of hours before you answer would help.

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    alan.court  8 months ago

    My GF was always complaining about her hips being to big. I would feel her hips and say there’s not any fat on them, so what do you proposed to do about them? I also mentioned that in the past her hips would be considered beautiful and other women would be jealous of her!

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    WCraft Premium Member 8 months ago

    That is called a “conditioned response.”

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    Bruce1253  8 months ago

    The only safe response was given in Monty Python “Run Away! Run Away!”

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    1MadHat Premium Member 8 months ago

    “No, it makes you look great!”

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  29. Wizanim
    ChessPirate  8 months ago

    “Does this dress make me look fat?”

    “No speekee Eengleesh…”

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  30. The stinker
    cuzinron47  8 months ago

    In this case he could say, “Let me reflect on for while”. I know that won’t work, just reflecting on the mirror.

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    David Huie Green  8 months ago

    Fast beats slow.

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    dragonbite  8 months ago

    Timing is everything!

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    heathcliff2  8 months ago

    He didn’t wait for the mirror.

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    eladee  8 months ago

    Timing is everything.

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