Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 28, 2022

How about one that says “I’d rather wear a Covid mask.”?

I’ve been wearing the very same “I hate to wear ties” tie for the last 55 years. Day in, day out. I wore it to work, I wear it to putter around the house, I even wear it in the swimming pool.

Of course, it’s neither visible nor tangible. But it DOES make that statement, loud and clear.

The Ties That Bind.

Then go with a bow tie. They always make that kind of a statement.

Try this clip on bow.

The solution is the Colonel Sanders String Tie. Bound to upset vegans or the Tex Ritter String Tie so you can Slam the Door when you leave. But a top pick is the raw hide String Tie for self-flagellation. Comes with or without knots, water extra.

That would be a noose.

Part of the key may actually be in the shirt.

You need to get something that clashes.

All those ties say: “I hate the person wearing me!”

May 19th, 1967, was the last time I wore a tie. That’s the day I got out of the Marines and had to wear my uniform to get a stand-by airplane ticket.

The next time I wear a tie will be for my goddaughter’s wedding in a couple of months. The next time after that will probably be for my funeral, although that will not be entirely within my control.

Any tie with a bad knot says “I hate ties”.

If I had to wear one, I’d want one of those.

I do have one ugly one here….

The little crabs necktie.

“Tie me kangaroo down , boys…”

Dangerous, too. It can get hung up on something. Have to be careful with scarfs, too.

It’s called a bolo tie, and it’s way more stylish.

That’s knot gonna happen here. :)

https://www.zazzle.com/i+hate+ties

Or a mask that says “I hate masks”?

That’s what my Three Stooges tie is for.

Here’s a white tie and a black laundry marker.

Horrible things that I wore for far too many years. Before about 1900 ties (cravats) we’re almost always just plain black, white, or solid subdued color. But vests/waistcoats were where men wore expensive, patterned, embroidered, and colorful fabrics. Then vests started to match the coats and the tie took over as the only piece of clothing that could have pattern or color.

That green one right in the middle is perfect, then.