Close to Home by John McPherson for April 02, 2024

Poor Geppetto, humiliated on syndicated television.

your dad is from Louisville…Slugger!

Jiminy Cricket!

And someone in your ancestry smelt like elderberries.

Wouldn’t those be his siblings? His parents would be trees.

JIMINY PICKLE?

Is Mother a 2B or Not 2B ? That is the question.

In the book, there was something different about the wood that he was carved from.

He’s descended from royalty. One of his great-great-grandparents was a ruler.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! (Sorry. On a Python thing since Bloom County comments.)

Bleep is really blending in with the carpet today… And Pinocchio is apparently telling the truth!

shouldn’t he have checked with ancesTREE dot com

Wait a minute, hold the phone!

What’s up with this 0.01% cricket DNA?!?!

It’s too bad that his parents aren’t the table and chair in the background.

If his mother has an eraser on her end, she could rub out the competition and become NO. 1

Where’s the Blue Fairy when you need her?

If he stretches the truth he’s gonna get a woodie.

What an ash his father was! I think he met his wife in Ticonderoga, NY.

Mother’s name was Olive Oyl.

Bleeb in camouflage … or coloring mistake. I guess we’ll never know.

Wood you believe it?

Perhaps several pencils. Maybe some No. 2 1/2s, which I find are better and easier to use than too-soft No. 2s.

So his Dad went pro?

Trees are made of wood, and so are family trees.

Unless they’re lying. You’d know about that, Pinocchio.

Better to not even think about that conception.

He’s a chip off the old block…literally.

Gepetto got some explaining to do with a little wooden boy

I met the father. Bit of an ash in my opinion.