Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for January 20, 2024

They’ve been reading Sherman’s Lagoon, but are about a week behind.

Something fishy about your anhistory eh.

Aww.

Dunno… ask Harry.

Who cares? We still live in a castle.

That computer is a Dell, Rolling in the deep.

But you’re gold, fish

Royalty wasn’t Royalty if you go back far enough – most of them descend from Robber barons or similar

Don’t worry. Marry into royalty like Megan Markle did, and you’ll be fine.

I’m royalty… sort of. My 26x great-grandfather was Olaf “Peacock” Höskuldsson. His mother was the daughter of Muirchertach of the Leather Cloaks, king of Ailech. Olaf was offered the throne, but declined because he figured his uncles, who were next in line to the throne, would kill him. I shouldn’t have to pay for his mistake, though. I’m going to Ireland to reclaim the throne.

Those fish are getting schooled!

Anybody can be royalty. Say you’re royalty. You’re royalty. Say you’re a commoner. You’re a commoner.

Ya just had to spoil it for all of us….thanks a lot!

I guess not. Sorry, fishie.

Well, goldfish were bred in Asia from carp. Your ancestors could have been owned by Chinese or Japanese emperors, and if you consider pets part of the family, then that WOULD make your royalty.

I live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood in MN, but it’s a castle compared to most of the rest of the world.

Kingfisher?

WE’RE NOT WORTHY!

They’re new royals. Their ancestors didn’t live in a castle.

New money.

Goldfish, silverfish, no difference.

If you Live in a castle you may be underwater in more ways than one.

They’re probably pals of WF’s Hecklefish. They all like to use the internet from inside their fishbowls.

“That diver guy is not our personal pool cleaner?”

No, but at least, one of your ancestors was a renowned sturgeon.