How about exposing that “Jingle Bells” was written by a Major in the Confederate Mounted Calvary and should therefor be banned as being offensive to sensitive Liberal losers rewriting history.
When Mr. Miller goes off on one of his political tracks, he loses me, but when he comes up with a gem like this, it is a reminder why I fell in love with his humor and why he may someday be destined for the comics hall of fame.
There’s lots of things banned from the other side of the spectrum. This year the cit of Wauwatosa, Wisconsin banned the color combination of red and green because it apparently could potentially offend someone. They also banned the use of the word snowmen, now it’s snowpeople.
Fun fact: while it’s not a Christmas song, the ninth stanza of Charles Wesley’s hymn “Come Thou O Traveller Unknown” contains the lines:
The morning breaks, the shadows flee, Pure, universal love Thou art;
To me, to all, Thy bowels move; Thy nature and Thy Name is Love
And yes, it is found in the Methodist hymnal, though rarely do we sing all nine stanzas.
Similarly, Isaac Watts wrote a hymn whose title and first line are “Blest is the man whose bowels move.” As in the case of Wesley’s hymn, in this context the word “bowels” refers to the seat of emotion and compassion; today we would use the word “heart” in that place.
Hey, does anybody have any actual holiday fun facts to share?
Here’s my fave: Even in olden times (like 2000 years ago) in a Mediterranean climate, winter was not a happy time for shepherds to be watching their flocks by night. They typically only inconvenienced themselves like that during lambing season in the spring, typically around April. So to the extent that any part of the Biblical Christmas story can be taken seriously, we should probably be celebrating Christmas and Easter at about the same time as each other every year.
But other civilizations of that era had big feast days for the winter solstice, as the unconquered sun (sol invictus) started heading back north again. The Greeks called theirs Kronia, and the Romans named theirs Saturnalia, and both were occasions for widespread merry-making, perfect cover for the socially disfavored Christians of the time to disguise their own purpose for celebration, which is probably why Christmas migrated to Dec. 25.
I’m sure that the original words were “Deck the hall,” as in “Dress the Great Hall” of a castle or grand dwelling. Not at all related to the words of the Welsh carol used.
sirbadger 5 months ago
At least it’s not about a woman named Holly.
Bilan 5 months ago
Guessing at what Danae did next is like pinning a tail on a cloud.
Sanspareil 5 months ago
I prefer “Bark us all bow-wows of folly”
jaydogg187 5 months ago
I wonder what her take would be on donning the gay apparel.
eromlig 5 months ago
Hey, I used to think Frank Sinatra sang about “That Old Bill Bowel Moon.”
Cornelius Robinson Premium Member 5 months ago
Calvin would have wished he had thought of that
PraiseofFolly 5 months ago
I wondered why the angels were so hairy, as in “Hark, the Hairy Angels Sing,” imagining them like Cousin Itt.
DanEP 5 months ago
I’d have liked to have heard the rest of her song!
Ubintold 5 months ago
And she never even got to the fa-la-lah-la-lah part.
nosirrom 5 months ago
One holly bushes’ scientific name is Ilex vomitoria. I’m glad she wasn’t singing about bowls of holly.
LawrenceS 5 months ago
In the words of Walt Kelly:
Deck us all with Boston Charlie, / Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo! / Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley, / Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!
Don’t we know archaic barrel / Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou? / Trolley Molly don’t love Harold, / Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
janrpetersusc 5 months ago
Sorry, being a non-native English speaker, I don’t get the joke. What was she changing in that song?
Jaddis 5 months ago
This is a cute reminder of Sally Brown’s occasional classroom reports.
Count Olaf Premium Member 5 months ago
How about exposing that “Jingle Bells” was written by a Major in the Confederate Mounted Calvary and should therefor be banned as being offensive to sensitive Liberal losers rewriting history.
danketaz Premium Member 5 months ago
It would make making garlands easier.
Count Olaf Premium Member 5 months ago
And for gentile overnight relief, there is Holly Golightly. Take in the evening, guaranteed to work before your Breakfast at Tiffanys.
NeedaChuckle Premium Member 5 months ago
We Three Kings of Orient are, we’re all smoking a rubber cigar. Very popular when I was 6 years old.
sandpiper 5 months ago
Kinda lowered the level today. Not funny
Stormy PinkPanda 5 months ago
♫ Deck us all with Boston Charlie ♫
This time of year , I miss Pogo. Gone too soon.
medagliadoro Premium Member 5 months ago
When Mr. Miller goes off on one of his political tracks, he loses me, but when he comes up with a gem like this, it is a reminder why I fell in love with his humor and why he may someday be destined for the comics hall of fame.
paranormal 5 months ago
That’s almost as good as the song “Heavenly Holsteins sing Allalueya..”…
jconnors3954 5 months ago
Too colorful.
gfredrickson85 5 months ago
There’s lots of things banned from the other side of the spectrum. This year the cit of Wauwatosa, Wisconsin banned the color combination of red and green because it apparently could potentially offend someone. They also banned the use of the word snowmen, now it’s snowpeople.
Escapee 5 months ago
I love the stories on misunderstood song lyrics!
Old27F20 5 months ago
I…I thought it was “deck the halls with bowels of looseness.” All these years, I had it wrong…sooo sad.
mindjob 5 months ago
I like my Hollys to be long, cool women in black dresses
GiantShetlandPony 5 months ago
I’m just going to give this a ROFL.
jahoody 5 months ago
This has the makings of a Christmas classic, Wiley.
Otis Rufus Driftwood 5 months ago
I may have thought it ‘bowels of holly’ as a kid. Then I learned better.
RobinA. Premium Member 5 months ago
I think “bowels of holly” is an improvement.
Vet Premium Member 5 months ago
Don’t forget the line of “Now we don our Gay apparel!”Fa la la la La La La!! Enjoy the season everyone.xD
joannesshadow 5 months ago
“Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Hot sauce dripping from their toes…"
leemorse9777 5 months ago
As one, I would say gays are happy in pretty much the same number as any other group. Varies daily, welcome to life.
Rick Gale 5 months ago
It sounds like a scene from a holiday slasher movie.
puddleglum1066 5 months ago
Fun fact: while it’s not a Christmas song, the ninth stanza of Charles Wesley’s hymn “Come Thou O Traveller Unknown” contains the lines:
The morning breaks, the shadows flee, Pure, universal love Thou art;
To me, to all, Thy bowels move; Thy nature and Thy Name is Love
And yes, it is found in the Methodist hymnal, though rarely do we sing all nine stanzas.
Similarly, Isaac Watts wrote a hymn whose title and first line are “Blest is the man whose bowels move.” As in the case of Wesley’s hymn, in this context the word “bowels” refers to the seat of emotion and compassion; today we would use the word “heart” in that place.
Mario500 5 months ago
(senses a misunderstanding of the word “BOUGHS” in this cartoon; imagines a solution involving a certain pronunciation of the word “BO”))
Mario500 5 months ago
“BOUGHS—SCHMOUGHS… I SAY MY VERSION IS A LOT MORE ENTER-TAINING”
(imagines a different version of this part of the dialogue of this cartoon)
I DON’T CARE IF IT’S BOUGHS; MY VERSION WAS MORE ENTERTAINING
mistercatworks 5 months ago
I can give her “holiday” but “fun” and “fact”, it is not. Perhaps she will get a botany coloring book for Christmas.
Richard S Russell Premium Member 5 months ago
Hey, does anybody have any actual holiday fun facts to share?
Here’s my fave: Even in olden times (like 2000 years ago) in a Mediterranean climate, winter was not a happy time for shepherds to be watching their flocks by night. They typically only inconvenienced themselves like that during lambing season in the spring, typically around April. So to the extent that any part of the Biblical Christmas story can be taken seriously, we should probably be celebrating Christmas and Easter at about the same time as each other every year.
But other civilizations of that era had big feast days for the winter solstice, as the unconquered sun (sol invictus) started heading back north again. The Greeks called theirs Kronia, and the Romans named theirs Saturnalia, and both were occasions for widespread merry-making, perfect cover for the socially disfavored Christians of the time to disguise their own purpose for celebration, which is probably why Christmas migrated to Dec. 25.
Betrayral In The Common Room 5 months ago
At least she didn’t sing baby it’s cold outside.
JH&Cats 5 months ago
I’m sure that the original words were “Deck the hall,” as in “Dress the Great Hall” of a castle or grand dwelling. Not at all related to the words of the Welsh carol used.
preacherman 5 months ago
Truth to tell, most people would never know the difference.