Herman by Jim Unger for February 17, 2023

Superfluous question mark. “I thought you liked this perfume” is a statement, not a question.

Obviously you were wrong

Never mind the perfume, I wish you would have used deodorant!

I like it just fine. If you hadn’t tried to drown yourself in it.

He’s just slightly put off by it.

Eau de Eeww

“Okay already! I’m sorry I mixed up the dog biscuits with your cheese dip crackers!”

He liked it until he could smell it.

There’s a perfume called ‘White Shoulders’ that— to me— smells like ant poison. I’d be sticking me head out the window in that event, too.

Not by the gallon…

Richard Pryor had a joke like this concerning a trip to Africa

It’s not the perfume, it’s the burrito you had for lunch.

There are some scents which are sold as perfume or cologne which absolutely reek to me. It is especially noxious when I’m stuck next to someone who has seemingly drenched themselves in the stuff.

He can like the perfume, but if you’ve had a bath in it, that’s too much. I know someone at work that wears way too much. You can smell her coming from miles away and it lingers for hours after she’s gone. Some blokes are just as bad, to be fair

Depends on how much you use.

We did that ’cause the kid in the back of the cruiser poured a bottle of nail polish remover inside his jacket to get high, it was freezing outside.

cologne, eau de toilette and parfum – sadly too many people don’t know the difference and their skin type. so when they wear a scent that is ‘wrong’ for them, many times it is because they bought in the wrong category due to price.

It’s a good thing he doesn’t have a left-side rear view mirror. He would mostly be looking at himself.

Some perfumes just about choke me and/or make my lungs burn. If personal hygiene is sufficient there should be no need to douse oneself in artificial scents or inflict those chemicals on others.

Just trying to see what is so appealing to our dog about doing this

Nothing to do with perfume. Just a trick he learned from his doggie.

“I do. Just three gallons less at a time.”

On the saleslady at the store, yes……

Just doing my imitation of a dog, my dear. Which I’ll be doing each time you wear that.

“How much is that fragrance?”“Perfume?”“No, for the whole bottle?”