Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 12, 2022

Here is a 22 second slo-mo vid of my Quaker getting sprayed right in the kisser: https://tinyurl.com/BirdSpray

Mr Rogers was a gentle soul but somehow got on some peoples nerves…and they got on his…

Today a spray bottle. Tomorrow, a crusade with armies!!

…it’s called ‘skunking’ them…

…at least it should be…

…say it…

…don’t spray it…

…yeah, most people just condemn ya to Hell…

…you Baptize them…

…a Bar- spritz- ma…

…suddenly, Moses spreading the Red Sea sounds dirty…

…ugh…even I hated that one…

…which makes me rethink my old neighbor’s actions…

…spraying us with a hose …

…and yelling…

…“Get off my yard!”…

Then I discovered that a powerful enough field effect could steer any streaming particles, like with the old cathode ray tubes, where they created a raster scan by steering an electron beam with powerful magnetic fields. Once I had discovered the proper field effects, and worked out the means of generation and control of the fields, I was able to provide people with spiritual guidance, AND produce quality programming to anybody who could observe all of humanity at a glance.

Squirt or Fresca go figure

I’ve heard about cults where they use a fire hose.

If I had any more kids (which would be kind of hard to explain, given how long ago I had my vasectomy), I would name them Brassie and Mashie. And I might pretend they were twins. And I might start a comic strip about them (if I could think of a new gag every day and if I could draw).

Yeah, but most cats are Buddhists by default.

God help this guy if he brings that spray-bottle

to a gun fight …! ( but it’d work for a cat fight )

“If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”

Lee Trevino

Pastor Bob carried his squirt bottle of Holy Water everywhere, in hopes of baptizing the credulous and repelling the incredulous.

We had a cat who developed spray bottle immunity. When we squirted him he’d give us a dirty look and resume whatever he was doing.

Spiritual guidance is best administered via suppository.

Put a candle in front of your Glade Mist plug in and watch the room erupt in random fire balls.

Squirt me, brother, and you’ll be out of the Spiritual Guidance business for a long, long time! Think “the Chicago Way”….

Next time you plan a coup don’t invite a film crew to document it.

It’s not my spiritual guidance the cats are rejecting.

Squirt Holy water on my bbq and the food goes kosher to gourmet.