99% is optimistic. The number of people who have survived after the onset of symptoms can be counted on one hand, and the procedures in such cases are long, intense, complex, and leave a lot of long-term effects from the virus and the treatment.
Rabies is like Pancreatic cancer, in that by the time you notice symptoms, it’s too late. The survivors of pancreatic cancer that I’ve met all had the condition discovered accidentally, in the course of surgery usually.
A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle. He books a stay in a remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest, but by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored.
Checking out at the general store, he asks the cashier what people did for fun around town. “Are there any good restaurants here?”
“Well, there’s Maude’s diner,” she said, “but only if you like cold eggs and burnt toast.”
The man looked at her and asked, “How do you people not go crazy out here? It’s so boring!”
“Have you been to the frozen lake just south of the town?” asks the cashier. "We all go to see the moose dance on the ice when it gets dark. They skate and move with such grace. It never gets old!”
Unsure how to respond to such a ridiculous idea without offending her, the man mumbles thanks and leaves. But two more days of old TV prompts him to see these moose.
Aside the lake, he waits, watching for movement. Suddenly, a giant moose steps out onto the ice. The moose begins to slide forward, then splats onto its belly as its hooves slip in four opposite directions. It struggles to stand up, makes it to its feet, and immediately tumbles down again.
Then two more moose slide onto the ice, but one stops abruptly and the second slides antler-first into the other moose’s behind. They, too, slip constantly as they try to glide. After they ram into each other headfirst, tangling their antlers together, they sidestep awkwardly back into the forest.
The next day the man goes back to the store, and complains to the cashier. “What the heck was with that moose thing you told me about? I went to watch at the lake last night, it was terrible. Just a bunch of clumsy animals falling down.”
The customers and cashier all burst out laughing.
“You went last night?” The cashier shakes her head. “Of course it was bad. Thursday is amateur night.”
This joke touches on the issue of Rabies, which isn’t a very funny topic to begin with.
Why California is broke and Texas is not.
The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor’s dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control. Animal control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases.
The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote bites and getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for six months while the California Fish and Game Department conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a ‘coyote awareness program’ for residents of the area, and the Legislature appropriates $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
The governor of Texas (Governor Rick Perry) is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and tries to attack him and his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his private pistol and keeps jogging.
The governor spent 50 cents on a .380-caliber, hollow-point cartridge. Buzzards ate the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
Some months ago we were discussing the James Webb Space Telescope. In the intervening time, the scientists at NASA have been aiming and focusing the mirrors of the telescope, and they have now released the first of the focused images. More images will be available tomorrow. Believe It Or Not.
Here’s a link to a BBC article on the instrument. https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-62122859
jasonsnakelover almost 2 years ago
Cavid Dopperfield (Kavid Dotkin)
But do you know? But do you know?
May the Lord be with you as He is with me.
monkeysky almost 2 years ago
99% is optimistic. The number of people who have survived after the onset of symptoms can be counted on one hand, and the procedures in such cases are long, intense, complex, and leave a lot of long-term effects from the virus and the treatment.
Templo S.U.D. almost 2 years ago
Regarding Copperfield, how is that compared to Penn Jillette and Raymond Teller?
The dude from FL Premium Member almost 2 years ago
My parents took us to a drive-in to see Old Yeller in the 50’s, my 4 brothers and I cried…I think they regreted taking us
therese_callahan2002 almost 2 years ago
I met David Copperfield after a magic show in 1993, and got an autographed picture from him.
therese_callahan2002 almost 2 years ago
Rabies is 99 % fatal, and the shots hurt like heck, I’ve been told.
tremaine53 almost 2 years ago
Simpler to say that extreme sleep deprivation can result in psychosis. And more broadly accurate.
tremaine53 almost 2 years ago
Rabies is like Pancreatic cancer, in that by the time you notice symptoms, it’s too late. The survivors of pancreatic cancer that I’ve met all had the condition discovered accidentally, in the course of surgery usually.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 2 years ago
We’re all hallucinating in some manner or other.
Take care, may unseen disappearing act specialist Adam “Hey HEY Over Here OVER HERE” Eveord be with you, and gesundheit.
e.groves almost 2 years ago
I was sleep-deprived when I worked the graveyard shift. It really messed with my brain.
198.23.5.11 almost 2 years ago
Even Copperfield can slip up.I think he lost a fingertip when a guillotine stunt went wrong.
You can find him in residency at the MGM Grand Las Vegas
FassEddie almost 2 years ago
A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle. He books a stay in a remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest, but by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored.
Checking out at the general store, he asks the cashier what people did for fun around town. “Are there any good restaurants here?”
“Well, there’s Maude’s diner,” she said, “but only if you like cold eggs and burnt toast.”
The man looked at her and asked, “How do you people not go crazy out here? It’s so boring!”
“Have you been to the frozen lake just south of the town?” asks the cashier. "We all go to see the moose dance on the ice when it gets dark. They skate and move with such grace. It never gets old!”Unsure how to respond to such a ridiculous idea without offending her, the man mumbles thanks and leaves. But two more days of old TV prompts him to see these moose.
Aside the lake, he waits, watching for movement. Suddenly, a giant moose steps out onto the ice. The moose begins to slide forward, then splats onto its belly as its hooves slip in four opposite directions. It struggles to stand up, makes it to its feet, and immediately tumbles down again.
Then two more moose slide onto the ice, but one stops abruptly and the second slides antler-first into the other moose’s behind. They, too, slip constantly as they try to glide. After they ram into each other headfirst, tangling their antlers together, they sidestep awkwardly back into the forest.
The next day the man goes back to the store, and complains to the cashier. “What the heck was with that moose thing you told me about? I went to watch at the lake last night, it was terrible. Just a bunch of clumsy animals falling down.”
The customers and cashier all burst out laughing.
“You went last night?” The cashier shakes her head. “Of course it was bad. Thursday is amateur night.”
mindjob almost 2 years ago
I guess I better get that skunk bite I got last week checked out
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 2 years ago
This joke touches on the issue of Rabies, which isn’t a very funny topic to begin with.
Why California is broke and Texas is not.
The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor’s dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control. Animal control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases.
The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote bites and getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for six months while the California Fish and Game Department conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a ‘coyote awareness program’ for residents of the area, and the Legislature appropriates $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
The governor of Texas (Governor Rick Perry) is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and tries to attack him and his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his private pistol and keeps jogging.
The governor spent 50 cents on a .380-caliber, hollow-point cartridge. Buzzards ate the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
Until next time.
WCraft Premium Member almost 2 years ago
So after looking at the rabbit and the man in the lower panel, I’d guess they both have rabies?
paranormal almost 2 years ago
I bet the IRS really loves David Copperfield…
jrdub Premium Member almost 2 years ago
David Copperfield? I thought it was Lee Majors!
ekke almost 2 years ago
Yeah, I remember about David Copperfield. Dickens wrote all about him one time!
Petemejia77 almost 2 years ago
Did Tom Bunk draw the sleep cartoon?
Jerry Martin Premium Member almost 2 years ago
After working for 3 days straight with no sleep, I can confirm the hallucinations. Scary! Also slept for 12 straight hours afterward. Never again!
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 2 years ago
Some months ago we were discussing the James Webb Space Telescope. In the intervening time, the scientists at NASA have been aiming and focusing the mirrors of the telescope, and they have now released the first of the focused images. More images will be available tomorrow. Believe It Or Not.
Here’s a link to a BBC article on the instrument. https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-62122859