Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for March 29, 2022

Tonight I have yet another story from the annals of True:

A dentist has been advertising on local radio that he can help you “overcome your insurmountable fear of dentistry.” I was amused, of course. How does one overcome the insurmountable? Later that week I had an appointment to get my teeth cleaned, so I told my hygienist about the spot, emphasizing the word “insurmountable.” She nodded and said, “Oh, that’s good.”

I was taken aback; I thought she would laugh. “Uh, do you know what ‘insurmountable’ means?” I asked her.

“Oh, that’s like a really big fear, right?”

“Um, right,” I conceded. We went on to other topics…

Lela Bugosi What’s he the president of now?

Scobert Rott One time I was 107 years old. So did they eat it?

May the Lord be with you?

Ripley’s found a fruitcake of any age that looked good enough to eat. Believe it or not! (I’m in the “not” category.)

If it was ever good enough to eat, wouldn’t Scott and his crew have eaten it? They probably thought, Yuck, taking a fruitcake was a big mistake, let’s just leave it in this hut.

The fruitcake was at Antarctica, thus had been cryogenically preserved (frozen solid as a brick). It probably was still good enough to eat.

Almost impossible to road rage on a tractor, it teaches patience instead!

As a fruitcake, was it nutty?

Say “Bela Lugosi” three times and he’ll appear in his old L.A. Soccer League uniform in the graveyard closest to where you are.

Take care, may confused, failed, and shunned vampire monster Asa “They Run From Me But I Think It’s Because Of My Breath” Frankenstord be with you, and gesundheit.

Since when where fruitcakes ever good to eat?!

‘Drive Your Tractor to School Day’ is big here in Western NY, as well.

Scott chose death over fruitcake.

Fruitcake, the ultimate survival food. It survives you.

1. Anyone who knows Bela Lugosi knows what he looked like. Who’s that drawing of? 2. I like fruitcake – that is, when it was on my holiday diet. 3. My school district has “Drive Your Tractor To School Day” in April. Has for decades. What’s the big deal?

TRUE JOKE—-

Bela Lugosi appeared on Abbott&Costello’s radio show to plug ABBOTT&COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN.

He said that he always drank Rheingold because“My bier is a dry bier”.

Doesn’t sound like much of a celebration to me. A four hour round trip commute is more like a chore.

Cool! And in Idaho, kids get time off from school so they can harvest potatoes. Farmers are the best!

Wow – thank you for recommending Bela Lugosi! He’s one of my favorite horror movie idols!!

A young woman goes to the doctor.

The general doctor sits her down and asks her what’s wrong.

“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a fruitcake!”

The doctor wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I see. What’s gotten into you?”

“Raisins, butter, flour… All the usual ingredients!”

I find it difficult to believe that a fruitcake of any age was worth eating

Hey guys, I want to get in on this joke telling thing but I don’t have time for all that typing. Also, I am lazy.

So, what I am going to do is just cite a commenter / date from the past..

My contribution for today: Erolmig / Sept 14, 2021

re: gozar Thats like the new prisoner, name of Jon, at the big house who asked his roommate why everyone laughed when someone yelled out a number. His roomie told him everyone heard the jokes so many times they just numbered them so instead of telling the joke they would just refer to the number. Jon though that was a cool idea, so he hollered out a number but was met with silence, he tried again with a number he heard earlier again just silence he was puzzled until his roomie told him “Some guys just can’t tell a joke.”

I call shenanigans, fruitcake never looks good enough to eat!

Captain…Falcon…maybe he washed the fruitcake down with punch.

The governor of Florida had enough of the Florida jokes. It was affecting their tourism and he was always made fun of at the annual governor softball tournament. He sat in his office all day and thought of ways how to change this.

One day, the governor of Alabama called. It was a social call, and they talked for a while about family and stuff. Then the Florida governor mentioned his frustration with the whole Florida-Man situation, to which the governor of Alabama replied: “Oh, I wish I could help with that.” Suddenly, the governor of Florida got an idea. “You could help me,” he said, “by doing something so ridiculous, so outrageous that people would make fun of you guys for a while.” The governor of Alabama thought about the proposal a bit, but accepted it. “I could do that, and I have an idea, but it will take some time.”

The governor of Florida hung up after thanking his colleague repeatedly. Finally, he thought to himself finally some peace.

The idea was indeed outrageous and ridiculous. After months of construction work and millions of dollars of tax money spent, a bridge was constructed. It was a beautiful piece of architecture, a true monument of its time….in the middle of a cornfield. No water. No roads. Just a cornfield. The media blew up and the internet was flooded with jokes about Alabama. The plan worked very well. The governor of Florida was so happy. Tourism started to go up again and life was great again.

After a month or so however, the jokes about Alabama died down pretty quickly. People resumed joking about Florida again. The governor of Florida called his colleague in Alabama, confused and angry. “What the hell? Why are people not making fun of you guys anymore!? We had a deal”

With a sigh the governor of Alabama replied: “Look, we did what we could. But it’s not our fault Floridians keep coming to the bridge to go fishing!”

Until next time.

When Lord Carnarvon opened King Tut’s tomb, there were 2 perfectly preserved foods. A fruitcake and a Twinkie.

Something might LOOK good enough to eat, isn’t always edible.

No fruit cake EVER has been “good enough to eat”.