Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 23, 2022

That’s a ‘first’ for me.

Is anyone else alive? I feel like that guy who comes out of the library after a nuclear war to find everyone gone, delighted to think that now he’ll be able to read without interruption for the rest of his life, and promptly drops his reading glasses.

Lame.

Nothing wrong with a little Frog Applause Pox between friends.

Why, when I was a child, we would have Frog Applause parties, so that everybody would have the pox and not be troubled with it later in life, when losing your grip on your delusions can be more than a bit painful and disorienting.

Pox parties are for kids, adults go to a shingles bar.

Luckily, we Froglandians have all stopped at the Bath Mat Factory Clinic and Dispensary for our Frog Applause Pox vaccinations and boosters, because, having read Dick Preston’s book back in 2002, we wisely had the forethought to develop and get new vaccine, just in case….

I thought you made stew in a crockpot.

There is no known cure for Frog Appox. Sure you can get shots and what not, but once lame, always lame. No amount of window dressing or plumage puffery can change that. Lipstick on a frog? Why not, but best to lean into the lame, be hip to the jive. Get Infected Today! I bet you wish you were lame like me. Don’t you? Don’t you?

I don’t think this is a complete list. It’s just an appoximation.

A pox upon all this lame waiting! Apoxalypse Now!

Quokkapox is fun to say, but not so much fun for the poor quokkas.

As Amos Hoople might have said.. Oomp fap!

Once apox a time, Louis Lame of the Super Fame bowled a perfect game. Dialing call girls for dollars at Toad Holler. If the boys wanna fight, better let em.

All of those poxen fitting into one small box?

…I was p a rt of the FA pox study program in ott- one…

…they made us wear pink leotards …

….black Tommy Johns…

…and the first group to get the vaccine up in the highest cupboard…

…got the less freezer burnt pistachio custard…

…James and I came in second…

…we were going to be first, but wanted to see what happened to whoever came first…

…it was a wise move…

…there was no custard…

…the powers that be made them regulars on FAME…

…lucky ducks…

… A.I. wasn’t as good back then…

…being second, we were worthless to them…

…us and third, forth and fifth places had to sit in a circle…

…it wasn’t exactly musical chairs…

… but the boy still playing got to keep his leotard and Tommy Johns…

….it was later adapted for Tv…

…it was called, The Squidward Games…

…the winner got free Frog Applause pox…

A frozen treat, poxcycles, and bomb poxs in stores frozen meat and treats case. Dilly bars or Klondike bars W/chicken hot pockets.

I’ve got a fever from Frog Applause Pox and there is only one cure…