Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 30, 2021

That’s a lot of joy!

One good golf story deserves another, right? Did I say “good”? Well, here’s another golf story anyway:

An older couple, both avid golfers, are discussing life. The wife asks her husband, “Darling, if I died, do you think you’d remarry?”

The husband thinks about that a few seconds, and then says, “Yes, I suppose I would.”

“And would she sleep in this bed?” she asks him.

“Yes, of course she would, if we’re married.”

“Would she drive my car?”

“Well, sure. Why not?”

“And would she use my golf clubs?”

“No, absolutely not,” comes his adamant response.

“She’d sleep in this bed and drive my car, but not use my golf clubs? Why is that?” the wife wants to know.

The husband replies, “She’s left-handed.”

Fack Jorager

One time I was 26 feet tall.

Ravid Dush One time I balanced 102 paper towel rolls on my forehead.

May the Lord be with you.

I hope Mr. Rush didn’t hoard that much TP during the pandemic’s start in order to do that feat.

The lightning one makes sense. Electricity takes the path of least resistance, so unless the person sticks their feet out the door and onto the ground, there’s no reason for the lightning to loop around into them.

Rush would’ve made it to 102 rolls, but he was stampeded by people that wanted to hoard the TP.

Obviously Mr. Rush has too much time on his hands.

So—THAT explains the toilet paper shortage during the pandemic!

That rubber ducky might have been a plug for Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.

I wanted to add a joke about 101 dalmatians and a rhyme about Mr. Rush had something to flush…but it just didn’t want to come outta my forehead

The six-stories-tall, 30,000-pound spectacle named Mama Duck is being brought back by the Redpath Waterfront Festival, presented by Billy Bishop Airport, Toronto, Canada which runs June 19 to 21Is this the same duck?

So he’s the reason people couldn’t find toilet paper during the pandemic.

How does a 25 foot tall inflatable duck mysteriously show-up?

David, Jack, and Joy. Larry, Moe, and Curly Joe. Casper, Malchoir, and Belthazar. Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Front and center! Double time!

Take care, may famed Name Dean Dr. Addlellantah Fop Mawentmenchord be with you, and gesundheit.

The truck tale is no surprise. As for the balancing act, why?

And now we have an explanation for last year’s TP shortage.

Mr. Rush has too much time on his hands and not enough brains in his head.

I suppose if one is incontinent that the balancing act might be useful. 3 believes just because I don’t want people upset today. Have a great day and may the rubber duck 10-4 you on his way to joining the convoy.

Now, if David could balance a hundred TOILETS on his forehead, we’d be talking about something noteworthy.

David was on his way to TP somebody’s house with his high school buddies

We saw a truck in the parking lot get struck by lightning.

After the storm passed we went outside to look at it. There was a big hole melted through the bottom of the truck bed & the electrical system was completely fried.

Southwestern Florida is the thunderstorm capital of the U. S.!

I only see 85 rolls of toilet paper.

One time I had a regular size rubber duck.

One time I balanced 1 toilet paper roll on my forehead.

May Lord Buckley be with you.

Lord Richard Buckley was an American stand-up comedian and recording artist, who in the 1940s and 1950s created a character that was part English royalty, part Dizzy Gillespie.

David Rush must have been REALLY popular when the COVID-19 pandemic began. :D

Is that an ad for Ford or something? Could’ve just said “truck” and no one would’ve cared what kind it was. :p