Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for April 08, 2021

“Thank you for coming to my FED talk…”

He can’t makes it to em feeders anymore. Which is why he is into teaching em tricks to makes a living.

A legend in his own time.

I used to watch squirrels sort through the birdseed to pick out the sunflower seeds and eat them one by one. But I admired the one squirrel who would bury his snout in the birdseed and just eat and eat and eat and . . . .

They’re taping a special for the PBS pledge drive.

Pretty soon he’s going to open up a chain of consulting firms, he just needs some seed money…

Wha? NONE of these are birds!! Suppose they used Bitcoin to pay to get in?

And had to show a drivers license!

He may need to attend a Bird-feeders Anonymous meeting.

It’s a dilemma for me. I hate begrudging a hungry critter something to eat. But the Red Squirrels are such pigs. They set in a feeder and eat and eat and eat and nothing else can get in. And it’s tough finding a place to hang a feeder that a squirrel can;t figure a way to get into

Fat-ted Talk

Try as they may, no squirrel has gotten so much as a seed from this feeder https://bromebirdcare.com/busterproducts/ Now, if we could just do something about those @#$&* sparrows …

Mark Rober’s yard is off limits, fellas. Much easier pickings anywhere else!

My first impression (just looking at the speaker) was of cats.

Let me guess. He’s going to say follow the fat squirrels!

Well, he certainly has the credentials to back up that claim!

I feed a squirrel an ear of field corn every day. He got so fat I believe I actually did him a disservice.

OH LAWD HE COMIN

We refer to bird feeders around here as “bait.”

I refer to squirrels as fury tailed tree rats !

These squirrel-proof feeders don’t work very well against raccoons. If raccoons can’t get to the bird seed, they will tear up the feeder.

There’s a guy who used to work at NASA who engineers a lot of interesting stuff. He has engineered an obstacle course to attempt to make a squirrel-proof bird feeder for his backyard squirrels. As they conquer it, he adds more obstacles. Here’s the YouTube link – ENJOY! https://youtu.be/hFZFjoX2cGg

There was a time that obese humans got extra respect for the same reason.

This is why I’ve always been suspicious of these Get-Rich-Quick seminars…If you really did find the proverbial “Golden Ticket” to wealth and prosperity why would you teach others and create more competition for yourself?

He’s pumped full of air.